Posted in Coaching and Therapy, Mental Health Advocacy, Poetry

Just Say it as it is…


Just say it as it is

Just say it as you see

Just say it as you think

Just say it as you feel

What is it you want

What is it you need

What is it you can

What is it you can’t

There is so much shallow

When you don’t say it

When you fake it

Because you want to make it

It may work for a while

But can last only a while

And the price you’ll pay

May lead you a painful way

It is worth every dime

To say it as it is

I ain’t saying no more

Yes yes to please

When my soul will miss

The serenity it so seeks

Sometimes silence says it too

If they don’t like it

If they don’t want it

If they don’t respect it

Not my worry

I will just say it as it is

(c) Marie Abanga 2017

p.s: Am not sure if this is a throwback poem because I wrote same last year, but I needed to remind myself of this now more than ever. The above picture taken in 2007 and found in my drawer recently, is clearly at time when I was a big people pleaser to the detriment of my own self. Today, as I learn how to take more and more care of my emotional and mental wellbeing, ‘saying it as it is’ becomes indispensable. Be you inspired and motivated and have a great new month full of self care, and just saying it as it is…

Posted in Book Reviews, Mental Health Advocacy

Book Review: Taking the Mask Off: Destroying the Stigmatic Barriers of Mental Health and Addiction Using a Spiritual Solution by Cortland Pfeffer, Irwin Ozborne



This memoir was on my wish list as soon as I read that it was to be published. I follow the author’s blog and he has inspired me a lot, I got that soulful telepathic motivation to take and keep my own mask off… Frankly speaken, this book may not be on the spectre of the Four Agreements – well the author read and was inspired by that one too… but this book is another big bam revolutionary book not definitely for the chicken hearted. Truth be told, the authors did an incredible job especially with all the research in the book. And using his personal, amazing, and life impacting story – to all extent and with no reservation, gets me 5/5 PERIOD.

I don’t even know how to conventionally review this book… I mean I heard Oprah Winfrey on youtube say how her knees trembled when she went to interview Michael Jakson the Legend. She has interviwed thousands of celebrities yet she has never felt ‘nervous’ going to interview anyone. Gosh she herself is celebrity… This anecdote is just to say that of all the hundreds and hundreds of books I have read, I never felt so ‘Soul Strained and Soul Searched’ like I felt while reading this book… even reading the Four Agreements which I presented recently, didn’t move me to my marrows like this one… I related to different extents no doubt, but I sure do… I learn just so much… I agree to just so much…

229 Highlights | 231 Notes (This is from kindle – you can tell what I take out of this book)… I’ll share a few of my notes and then leave you with the encouragement to add this to your reading list for the season … you wouldn’t regret it – you’ll look at the New Year different – You’ll plan it differently and hopefully Live it Out Differently…

Highlight (Yellow) and Note | Location 989
If I can push people away from me, there is no chance they can get close to me and hurt me. If my emotional learning stems from fear and mistrust, I am not going to let random hospital staff into my life.
wow (My note)
Highlight (Yellow) and Note | Location 990
The Power of Empathy
does much (My note)
Highlight (Yellow) and Note | Location 1107
they did everything with love. Ahh, there it is. The other motivating factor in life: love. As described by Jack Kornfield in A Wise Heart, “When you love anyone enough, they will share their secrets.”
true (My note)

Thank you Cortland Pfeffer, Irwin Ozborne…

About Cortland Pfeffer
Cortland Pfeffer spent years as a patient in psychiatric hospitals, treatment centers, and jails before becoming a registered nurse and working in the same facilities. Based on his experience, this story is told from both sides of the desk. It offers a unique and valuable perspective into mental health and addiction, revealing the problems with the psychiatric industry while also providing the solution – one that brings together science, spirituality, philosophy, and personal experience.

Posted in Famous Quotations and teachings, Marie's Garden

Never treat someone as a priority when …


I love Maya Angelou and everything she shared in her books and life etc; I hold in very high esteem. But let me state that sometimes, many times, experiece though a harsh teacher is the best you can get. I mean, the lesson you learn from Teacher E, sticks and lasts hopefully a good while unless you learnt while under the influence of …

So, now I love using personal talk to illustrate my posts. After all my blog is about my thrilling life …

I got a vip class yesterday by good ol Oga E, wherein I got to marvel at the beauty of the above quote…

Let’s call my small oga k, he invites me almost with rain drops , then lets me sit over at a table with a drink for a startling 2 hours and 55 minutes all by myself. Yes I am honest and admit to my own embarrasment that I was a big time OPTION yesterday.

I had made the date my priority for the afternoon after spending the first part visiting my son in boarding school. It was an emotional and slightly difficult visit, and I was glad for the time under a mango tree bar with a drink and some breeze.

So, when oga said to be patient while he sat three tables away with friends sharing drinks and talking whatever, I was glad to be alone with my drink and kindle reading my cool away.

1st hour was thus happy hour – sort of treating myself at his bill;

but 2nd became learning tolerance and patience hour – sort of taming myself at his benefit;

The next 55 minutes were spent dealing with my rising frustration and anger and deciding on how best to deal with the situation – sort of dealing and healing myself to his advantage and mine ofcourse 🙂

option 2

I learnt a lot yesterday, and was glad I left when I did and handled it oh so calm for real. I realized I had all along been an option, and the whassap exchanges shortly before I left, confirmed just that. None followed when I left, not that I cared. I have a lot going on my life just now to really make serious space for any T, D or H…

The deal for me is SIMPLE, I get to continue on my free lane: