This lady here who blogs her heart and soul out especially since she got the bug, is getting happier by the day. Indeed, I have changed a gread deal; I have fewer of those moments when I simply don’t have it in me or don’t care about what goes on, I look more and more forward to living wholy if my mandate around permits. In a week, I turn 38 and oh my could I believe I could someday be a man’s treasure? I mean even just orally? Come on all, I have dealt with so much emotional trauma in my life and so I can even if only temporarily let my spirits be lifted this high. And when I think I was told off as trash and treated maybe even worse than trash by another man some years ago?
So now, without going so much around… let me gist you a little bit about my new self… Ok, the same me, the shaggy one who writes just anything which pops into her skull, who works out like she’s sick (I was even told I could be HIV +), who has messed up countless times, is now told even if only on social media, that she’s awesome, impressive, lovely and etc. I am not actinh on any of those flirting, but at least a good starting point I acclaim.
Candidly, I personally know I am worth all of that and much more. I tell myself such affirmative talk each day because I know by Faith I am the best for me and I am unconditionally loved by my Almighty Father. But to be told this by a someone else, keeps its own special warmth inside out too 🙂
So, who do you take it out on when you see your trash become someone’s treasure?
That is what I seem to be becoming (some man’s treasure); and it makes me wonder more on what I have also come to observe. That when a man has trashed a woman out (of her witts) and trashed her out of his house, he hardly thinks anyone should pick that trash up and clean it up, or start treasuring same; most of such a man goes wild. I mean we have all probably read of those who throw acid on the women so that nobody has them again right? And the ‘honour killings’ and incesant blackmail and other psychological torture. Precisely on the 2nd, my ex went on one of his sms rampages telling me all he’s ever said before and more, all because I couldn’t reach the kids and dared sms him. He had once again seized my son’s phone which I got him. I ignored him, better still, I told him to man up and tell me that to my face – I actually showed up at his house – daring him to call the cops – but ofcourse he stayed indoors. I checked on my kids and left. Could he still be dealing with so much loathing for me – or himself maybe?
Ok now, who is he gonna take it out on when he sees me another person’s treasure – or even hears about that? I never thought of taking anything out of him even if I may also have treated him poorly, maybe because I wished him so much well – was glad to learn that he’s remarried and moving on even in fatherhood.
Why all the hate, why all the trying to treat others as trash in the first place?
Maybe we should start from here I dare suggest, I now see why I hated some people at some point in my life. I hated my life as it was and thought to hold others responsible. Maybe they didn’t treat me right, but was I treating myself right? I know when you are under someone’s responsiblity say as a kid, you don’t have a choice – but am talking about adults here and under normal circumstances. As to treating people like trash, I have never consciously and directly treated someone as such – I don’t consider my infidelities as treating my ex as trash… Anyway, the past for me is past and am not seeking to take anything out on anybody at all. I am seriously Sassy, Single and Satisfied to live and live the bloom out…
All the best from my crew and I;
Now over to you, any such experience to share?