My spiritual journey reached its climax in stage three. Stage four may seem the longest to fast from food in a stretch ie 28 days, but I am very good to go. I have done two 30 days stretches before and am already familiar with that arm of fasting. Actually through out this journey started March 1st, of all things am fasting from, food is the last on my mind. I am proud of how fasting from all the other 6 vip things has been going.
Some small tips:
In court with another dynamic colleague and her son
Child care options include bringing him along and leaving him in some angelic company while we work
Keep busy, live your life, and keep a cheerful/real demeanour even with a swollen healing eye – so grateful it ain’t a swollen spirit or soul lol;
Nursing healing eye with ice, then professionally adviced warm compresses better
nursing healing eye with soothing aloe vera steeped cotton pads, then cucumbers etc (30.03.18)
If you know your why, and then the how plus when, why bother answering the what? You can save that energy cause your resilience will speak for itself lol
When you break your fast from food each evening, hydrate yourself as much as possible and eat the most balanced next to natural food you can (this has proved a little more challenging for me in this stage though, my belly seems to have shrunk and the appetite taken a hit – but am hanging in and doing my best) ; and while at vip self-care, brush your teeth often and use mouth wash + of course shower a time or two more each day – it all feels so refreshing…
Day 1 internship psychiatric unit
Consultation room flooded by heavy rain
Studying for a Masters in Psychology at home
I am busy with my internship as a therapist and my studies in psychology (just finished an online diploma course), add this up with single motherhood, my writings plus all the reading and other professional occupations, and you can tell I sometimes struggle to keep track of time lol…indeed am so grateful to the universe… I had the most thrilling first day at the psychiatry unit, starting off by doing something I just so love – cleaning so we could settle down quick and start receiving patients lol
Off they went initially for 5 days and lasted 9 days
So I could ride Alain’s bicycle as much as I wanted, and for free lol
I had nine good days home alone this Easter – how grateful could I be?
One other big big bonus from my spiritual journey so far, is that I have a much clearer and concise picture of my 3 but interconnected career paths…
Thank you all who have been wishing me well all along, by grace in 28 days, and these will fly by pretty soon…
This is Miguel, the son of Aime mon amour, the one she used to skin alive until even I who doesn’t hear well will hear and cry some. She has given me permission to share her story if only someone could be inspired and motivated.
Don’t ask me what Miguel used to do to warrant those skinnings. One day she honestly admitted to me it was his dad she was lashing out at, through the poor child’s skin?
Anyway, I started working with Aime, helping her heal. I also took Miguel under my wings, and nurtured him to stop being so scared of his mother and stop behaving as difficult as she would often complain he did.
On the 28th of March recently, she came once again as agreed, to tell me “that your son again doesn’t want to go to school”! I was working from home gladly, and told her to send him to me once he woke up finally. The first time she woke him up, he had made such a tantrum and his dad who was still home had ordered her to leave him alone. Easter break was just around the corner and he is in nursery two for crying out loud.
She did as I asked, and when he came, I decided to first of do any activity with him before talking with him. From my suggestions, he chose writing and drawing. You can see for yourself how well he writes and draws.
Then we sat down to have a chat. I have walked him to school before and had actually noticed a reticence to go into school although he was happy I walked him there on one of those days you know.
It was then he opened up and told me why he didn’t want to go. His teacher beat him, because he wrote for others, who will beat him if he didn’t. Imagine what this small child is dealing with and all along we didn’t know and he was getting skinned sometimes before he even went to the school where he was sure of getting some more. He had just figured out it was better to get only one skinning and not two or three.
Aime was so relieved when I spoke with her, and she promised to find time and go see his teacher. No more energy to waste, no more traumatizing a child further and etc.
This doesn’t mean each tantrum will have a happy ending, but there are many alternatives to skinny I tell you.
And so last March 23rd when David who sometimes still has a tantrum or the other ( he inherited his dad’s anger and used to throw himself as a child only I could help him out – once at my dad’s he had an episode my dad had to stand behind me lol), came to my room with a litany of issues and a very red face.
I did my best, calmed him down and later asked him if drawing could help both of us further. He accepted and there in less than 15 mins drew that image which was on my PJ. I was so proud of him, he was much calmer, and made it to school on time. No negative energy dispensed, sadly unlike another neighbour this time a man, who skins his 5 year old son until I had to go knock at his gate on that same March 28th.
I hear this man skins that boy until telling him he’ll kill him. Oh my goodness. That little boy committed the crime of going out that day and coming into my own home. I was sitting outside studying and playing with all my many little angel friends, and sadly for him his dad showed up just then. His dad is the one with the motor bike parked in my own home given he has no yard so to speak. We barely greet each other, and I remember his wife coming to ask me when they just moved in to tell Gaby to stop going there to play and scatter stuffs. I saw a frightened woman (I was once one so I can tell), but I couldn’t ask – better mind my business right? Anyway, I told this dad I was going to have to call the police on him if he beat his son again like that – and although he ordered me out and banged his gate, he stopped the skinning at least for that day.
How I wish this rubbish of skinning children alive could stop, as we parents explore more and more alternatives to understanding them kids, relating with them, and getting them understand us too…why have them children only to skin them alive?
I remember when as a hyper active kid ( I guess I could very well qualify for what will be categorized and drugged today as an ADHD kid), my exasperated mother will exclaim: You this child what do you want? Several years have passed and I am 39 years today and recently got a satisfactory answer for this question.
You see, the answer didn’t just pop up like that, I was reflecting on my life and all the the things I have been doing and what I like most about the woman of faith and conviction I am becoming. I then stopped just this past March around the 26th, and I asked myself what I didn’t want to be made of it all. The way the question popped up actually took me aback. Why should I bother what is made of my life by someone but me? But the reality is that once a public person, regardless of the category, quality or renown, your life is subject to all sorts of interpretation and conclusions.
It may thus indeed be a very apt time to define my life specifically by what I don’t want – hence end up with what I want.
I don’t want to be accepted!!! I want to be respected!!!
There you go and that is what I got from deep within. And I turned this over, meditated and contemplated, and then came to the conclusion that was it. I didn’t write the prayer/bible verse inviting us not to conform ourselves to the standards of this world… (easy thing to do or not is not the subject of this post), but I have always love that prayer and consoled myself with that when told I was unconventional – this has come to stick as I adopted and embraced same and go by that among other tags.
And seriously, if am I not accepted or respected, I don’t care, what matters to me is self-acceptance and self-respect. It is the person’s business if they want to take me or treat/relate with me any way – all I can control is my attitude to their actions or reactions, and I have chosen to go an extra mile by stating clearly what I want/what I don’t want.
Now, is this daring? Is this dashing? Is this doable? I don’t know, I just share some of my musings to inspire and motivate, and why not to simplify myself further
I haven’t been out rightly asked this question – at least not yet, in as much as my spiritual journey cum purification is concerned. Indeed, nothing intriguing to find out about it all if fasting for 70 days (especially from food lol) were not involved in any way. When I received the message from within that I was to embark on this journey (barely two or so weeks before the due date), and that one of the highlights will be a 70 day fast broken down into 4 stages with a 3 days break between each stage, I couldn’t give up and laugh at my own inner voice. Nope, that’s not me – I am the type obviously who thinks of solutions and not focus or dwell on the situation, scenario or outlook. When you have what you yourself qualify as a stubborn but passionate faith, words like ‘impossible’ don’t faze you – they fuel you. I loved the idea of a spiritual journey, even if only to get me further grounded in my life and aware of who I am and what my purpose in life is, then I was all in. How to go about this journey whose road map I happen not to have, is the whole thrill.
I am proud of the journey so far. It’s candidly been so rewarding even if I may look, be or feel foolish sometime. It actually seems I have a secret right? I don’t want to call it a secret but a style lol. You know a style like Usain Bolt’s when he runs that fast and shoots his hands in the direction of…like gimmie more…
What has been my style since March 1st 2018 when I started out on this thrilling but complex journey?
I sought to understand what a journey like that could demand and how good in shape I was for one. It doesn’t matter how long this period lasted, it matters how well it lasts. For me it went so well. Three days into this mind and soul exercise, I was ready for the journey. I had three more days to actually start warming up, explaining to my sons (and of course my GA) what was going to go on for the next 70 and more days with me, writing different stuffs down and plans, including a grand celebration plan for give or take May 20th;
Talking about plans, I knew I will be spending some waking hours without food or water, and will have to replenish for two good hours when I broke the food fast daily at 6 pm. Given my own self-imposed rule not to eat after 8 pm except in very special circumstances, this means I have only two hours to drink at least 1.5 l of water and eat plenty of nourishing stuffs (not any easy sometimes, and I battle). If am still around and looking this way, then it means am trying my best;
Trying my best also means trying not to focus at all on what if any am missing on this journey, but look forward or even dream about all am gaining and going to get once am done. This approach has kept me going, even in the midst of great endurance, mental and physical challenges including big objections, frustrations and distractions, including a nagging swollen but healing eye;
I am gratefully seeing the swollen eye find its way out (even if it may seem not so evident lol), and lots of other stuffs I am fasting from don’t even mill around my mind -I could even sit through an Easter meal and not bother. I hardly think of food until 6pm or more, I don’t have attack thoughts and try very hard not to entertain any which strays. I am quick to be compassionate and forgiving towards myself and others who visit in any form with objections, frustrations and distractions;
Last but not the least, talking about others, I decided because I know from precedence; that I was not going to care very much about who thought, felt or did what in relation to my spiritual journey and chosen path (s). So far so good. Some have seemingly understood my style and settled down in their corners, while others are almost out of energy trying to ‘fight’ me or ‘get’ my attention. Given that I have assumed total personal responsibility and accountability for this spiritual journey, I share here because that is in line with my purpose, but I am very serene and nearly not discerning about any unsolicited advice I may get. And all of that is my style for my spiritual journey…
PRE-SCRIPT:Scheduling this post for 6.05 pm once I break my fast, contrary to midnight as in the first two stages, is a testament to how much I missed blogging
It is not like I expected it to be all rosy this spiritual journey; no I didn’t expect any palms on my my path to say it plain. After all and above all, I am doing this all alone, under no direction, supervision or approval – seeking or waiting for no validation, counting not even on my own small allowance but on the Lord’s Grace and Strength. I mean, it will take some real heart to hear someone talk all this and not feel, think or even outright say they are ‘foolish’! – Just listen to, watch or outright ask Jim Carrey
Am I ‘foolish’ then? Do I feel ‘foolish’? Am I lonely?
I have been told I am ‘foolish’. ‘foolish’ to put so much on hold, have nothing saved up for real, and then ‘claim to be embarking’ on such a weird and seemingly ‘self-absorbed’ journey – call it spiritual or purification – it makes no logical or coherent sense especially with a swollen eye seemingly tagging you along as you journey on! Truth be told; it indeed makes no sense even to me – and yes to some extent I may be ‘foolish’.
As for lonely – oh big time. I don’t mind it but it still sucks some. Then lonely without trollers is much better than my current type of lonely. Let me stop at this. But am ok with being lonely, I own and appreciate and embrace it and choose that over being accepted and found ‘conventional’.
What else if not stubborn and hopelessly blind faith can get me ready, steady and set for a journey I know not the destination nor have a concrete nor convincing plan? I mean, when I was asked what was the plan, and I didn’t even have anything to babel with and still don’t – ah poor me right? I really had and still have none to provide or illustrate period! How ‘foolish’of you was the chorus. If I were to keep track of the number of times I have heard the word ‘foolish’ since I started (even just a day or so ago), ha I should be long way gone by now !
Is this a pattern for those who decide to set themselves aside like Peace Pilgrim; and ‘Trust’ their Higher Power, Inner Voice, God, or Who/Whatever you call Him/Her/Them? Again, Just listen to, watch or outright ask Jim Carrey (more current than Peace Pilgrim)
This apparent ‘foolishness ‘even makes it and me seem and look awkward and ridiculously hopeless. I have been brought down my knees not because I was hungry, but because I didn’t quiet know where the next meal will come from to feed my sons- take this literally…
I have read and now affirm, that when You say Yes Lord I am Ready, be prepared to Watch it all near go away until you become a near veteran beggar and Trust on Him and Him only. If you are into business, it starts to trickle out moment by slow moment. If into working with clients and co, the appointments, numbers and all may take a big toll downwards…
A lot seems to not go right (in this illusive world), and it could seem all is linked to your ‘irrational and illogical’ choice to embark on the journey you have embarked on.
When I once read that God loves our undivided attention, I though that was just a reality for nuns, monks and other religious – not for an ordinary woman like myself. I would be lying to say I haven’t been conflicted some throughout this journey whose third stage just ended. Will share more about these in due time.
I have felt foolish as a result, foolish of my persistence and perseverance with a passion I discovered. The determination, discipline and dedication I am putting in, can make even a 3 year old wonder if the prize will be a Gold Trophy. Who knows for real, I am prepared to keep being and feeling foolish if that is the price to pay for such faith, no matter how ‘foolish’ it may all seem and sound.
That faith which is so beautifully described in the Bible as among others: ‘evidence in things not seen … in things hoped for…’ And I don’t need my eyes to see what I will get if I persevere to the end – nope, sorry, yes I may be foolish if I can’t list them and point them all out to you, that my faith thing once more… That hope fuels me on!
It was a very peaceful 21 days of spiritual journey and fasting from all the stuffs am fasting from, and to cape it, while starting and staying on a very fulfilling once in a life time internship at the lone psychiatric unit of our main public hospital here in Douala.
Food being one of the stuffs am fasting from, is the least of my preoccupation. I dealt with food issues midway into stage two. Arriving at a point where I don’t react to smells nor get upset if others are eating or cooking some nice or foul smelling stuff by me. I can cook all day and be indifferent to food even after the hour to stop fasting has long past. This to me is self discipline and mastery. When I break my fast, I nourish my body just as well – I have even battled with me to eat during this stage argh.
Even just a year ago, I wouldn’t have believed I could have such faith to embark on such a journey, and stand it all so strong.
I AM TRULY GRATEFUL FOR THE AMAZING GRACE, AND FOR ALL THE ANGELS ON MY PATH.
Dear gentle readers and followers, be oh so positively inspired and motivated to strive on in faith in whichever area of your life you may need to work on. Be mindful of your universe as much as possible, be open to the possibility of several angels on your own path too, you may need to be more prudent than myself, that way you are not – or do not feel outright ‘foolish’.
Grateful for a 3 days break to share some with you all before my fourth and final stage…
Ain’t she remarkable just by her smile and posture?
It is the practice here that during third term holidays (summer holidays for you bushfallers/those who live abroad), ‘children who didn’t do well in school, or the naughty ones like myself, were sent or punished to attend holiday classes for at least one month.
We lived on another side of town, while the holiday classes mum chose was in my former primary school premises on the other side of town. I was the only one sent aka ‘punished’ but I looked so forward to that.
Prima, it was a school which held such sweet souvenirs of among others, bathing each day under the tap, fighting, and losing my school bag sometimes. I mean lots of fun and tears all mixed from that era – the first school I attended, close to 6 good formative years. Secundo, being alone meant No Supervision! You got that? I could leave home, get there, do whatever, and then go back home. I was 14 years old, just the right age too.
Soon after starting, a new student came to our class, and she was so soft and a little shy. I walked up to her at break time on her very first day, and after introducing myself, told her I found her remarkable. She already wore glasses even back then and I remember how she looked at me and then blushed oh my.
Remarkable Rachi and I have been friends since then, a friendship which is second to none other from my teenagehood. Life has happened to both of us, but we have been here and there for each other. Better friends today than ever. Rachi (now a bushfaller since university oh) sent me a remarkable coat I call my ‘pinky plush’. It’s so warm, like she knew what I needed and loved.
Maybe I will return to wearing some ‘Whoopi Goldberg’ sort of googles, or one like Rachi’s? or maybe have a pirate’s eye hahaha – anyway back to remarkable Rachi indeed.
And so, recently I asked my remarkable Rachi if I could blog about her, below is an excerpt of our chat which I got permission to share – kinda of a transcript right?
[16/03 09:21] Marie Abanga: Rachi oh, you know I get a segment for my blog called my heroines. You mind I blog about you? If yes then no problem, if no, then any preferred picture I can use?
[16/03 09:21] Marie Abanga: If no picture allowed I still understand and am grateful
[16/03 09:22] Rachi: 😂😂😂 Ayo Ayo (my nickname which has stuck – it means joy in one Nigerian dialect and so I love it)
[16/03 09:24] Rachi: Wetti I don do for ‘ve (she wonders what makes her deserve being my heroine lol) considered heroine? 😂😂. Na ma big forhead weh small sense dey inside?
[16/03 09:24] Marie Abanga: You’ve been here and here with and for me in the most simple ways
[16/03 09:25] Marie Abanga: You’ve let me into your amazing family and into your room and kitchen
[16/03 09:25] Marie Abanga: You’ve sent me my lovely coat of pinky plush
[16/03 09:26] Marie Abanga: And for the boys too, Alain yi own na near relic
[16/03 09:26] Marie Abanga: My heroines are my everyday champions
[16/03 09:26] Rachi: Oh my sweet Ayo, I am blushing (did I say she loves blushing?).
[16/03 09:27] Marie Abanga: Those few who witnessed my craze and read and heard and still loved me so
[16/03 09:27] Rachi: Ayo, what about the toilet and the bathtub? 😂😂😂
[16/03 09:27] Marie Abanga: Rachi, I tell people while they live and say it on my blog and not in church lol
[16/03 09:28] Marie Abanga: That na the most special (I mean the toilet and bathtub, 1st time I ever entered into one was at Rach’s) , you no mind I add that one? Who was already blushing now?
[16/03 09:28] Rachi: You really know. That’s why you are who you are to us too. 💋💋
[16/03 09:29] Rachi: This is what I call the little things in life go a long way.
[16/03 09:30] Marie Abanga: Rachi, I get a special relationship with toilets (remember the post the loo our love?)
[16/03 09:30] Rachi: Tell me
[16/03 09:31] Marie Abanga: Yes they do and I decide this year to always try to wear a smile for all and sundry cause you never know who will see only that one for the day, or whose life will be bettered because of that
[16/03 09:33] Marie Abanga: Growing up a ‘naughty’ child, the toilet was a hiding place from my mum’s spanking. Later oh with my step mum who forbade my brother and I from leaving our room, going to the toilet was the only logical excuse for leaving that room
[16/03 09:34] Rachi: I can imagine Ayo
[16/03 09:34] Marie Abanga: The toilet became our respite and we could go alone or together and just sit in there for even up to 20/30mins until someone knocked lol
[16/03 09:35] Rachi: Weh my dear.
[16/03 09:35] Marie Abanga: Up to today, my toilet in particular is my sanctuary more than my room
[16/03 09:35] Marie Abanga: The safest place in my home and even where I get some incredible inspiration
[16/03 09:36] Marie Abanga: I meditate more often in there, I have even fallen asleep sitting there a few times lol
[16/03 09:40] Marie Abanga: Now the best for this morning is that last week, I got the title and all 12 chapters of my 2019 book right in there, I also finally got my purpose dictated to me in Gold in there. I had my journal with me and I wrote that down and then cried before being grateful. I got the confirmation I had to go back to school and study psychology to cape the therapy achievement, and I just got an internship at Laquentinie hospital to start in April at the psychiatric ward for two months. I wore my pinky plush jacket for the interview thank you darling
[16/03 09:46] Rachi: Wow. All of this is awesome. We really get to catch up. I go try call you this weekend.
And so dear gentle readers and followers, ain’t having such a bossom friend truly remarkable? I mean she is relaxing, reassuring, remarkable, reliable, responsible, resourceful, respectable, restful, regardful, religious, resounding, resplendent and I stop at these lol…
Let me therefore wish us all be inspired and motivated. If you have one as remarkable as Rachi in your life, treasure them, and if you are one as remarkable as Rachi to another, know you are so appreciated…
One great thing about fasting, spiritual journey, meditation and perpetual contemplation is that you get so much spiritual insights, inspiration and motivation.
One of such insights and inspiration, uh huh still while sitting in the loo my love doing my business, was the realization that I could add 3 Ps to my 3Ds of Dermination, Discipline and Dedication. These Ps stand for Passion, Persistence and Perseverance. Don’t they just make sense? I so love them. I am gradually entering that stage of life where doing what you are passionate about is more fulfilling that doing something just for the money and all such stuffs.
When you find a passion, you got to persist in nurturing that passion and overcoming all sabotaging energy both from within and without. This will also ask a lot of perseverance cause no no it’s not an easy road ever.
And so gentle readers and followers, be positively inspired and motivated to keep at your passion and purpose, using, mixing or taking from my 3Ds/3Ps in any order and quantity hahaha
The year was 1999, precisely in July. I was at another crossroad in my thrilling life. I was already in the university and could thus fearlessly tell mum what I wanted. I was ‘fed’ up staying with her (oh this once troubled soul), and I asked to go live with my dad (I hadn’t seen him in 5/6 years). When she asked me what I needed to take along, I challenged her to get me 3 books. I didn’t know she’ll do just that.
She got me three once in a life time books:
The Purpose Driven life by Rick Warren;
The Way by Jose Maria Escriva,;and
Growing in Christ (not by J. Packer but by a Nigerian Author whose name I can’t seem to remember).
I still have The Way
The original in spanish
Mine the translated version published in Nigeria
My note back in 1999
with me, but sadly the other two got burnt alongside my other stuffs by my ex… another blog for this lol, back to finding my purpose…
That book (the purpose driven life especially) sparked a tsunamis in me…but it took me 19 years of dabbling to finding my purpose…I call this period now the gestation period.
Now no joking, but I got that purpose delivered to me in words of Gold while I sat in the loo my love, doing my business on the 7th day of stage 1 of this purification journey.
The papa up there (as I sometimes refer to God), was gradually ushering me there. My way was a really up/down bumpy one, but I now see it was all part of getting there – to finding and loving my purpose oh so much.
Below is what I wrote down there and then, and when I shared same with a mentor, we can read his feedback after my purpose in bold too:
To Inspire and Motivate people from different walks of life with my personal experiences
I truly like it. It’s personal and REAL. People will likely relate very easily and appreciate your honesty and sincerity.
It’s a wonderful feeling discovering one’s PURPOSE. It improves clarity and focus. It lightens one’s negative emotions while adding fuel to one’s passionate ones. It helps create greater MEANING in this thing we call LIFE!
Hmm, now that I have so spelt out, I am using this time in my spiritual and purification journey to take it all in and embrace it all dimensions. No doubt I have this mountain high of personal experiences. My papa up there/in here, is simply wonderful.
There really can be miracles when we believe. We have to search and keep doing, patiently, persistently, with all the perseverance we have. My 3 Ds can help too, we are determined, we work on being disciplined always and we stay dedicated. It takes time, yes it does. It is tough, yes it is, but it is fulfilling – none can compare to my joy right now…
And so dear gentle readers and followers, may I formally let you in on my purpose, inspiring and motivating you with my own personal examples of all things cool and shaggy, to find yours or keep at it for those like myself who have already found theirs.
Oh hello world, I didn’t plan this post but so much bliss today, I just had to share. Glad am still on the 2nd day of my 3 days break from stage one of my purification journey.
I had planned to work from home today and go on a long walk in the morning because I have a slight discomfort with my right ankle, but I had not planned to spend the day babysitting. But hmm, I love babysitting and got so much bliss doing that today.
My little angel neighbours
Archange my lover in red
Samira and I having breakfast with love
As soon as I came back from the long walk which took me through the back of a secondary school where I helped separate a bloody fight between boys of Alain’s age, helped a man who had just had an epileptic seizure and also a girl carry her gallons of water, I received 4 of my small angels in the neighbourhood. They often come around when they hear my voice or Alain’s, because they love being around us. Aimé also brought Samira for some hours while she went to the market and ran other errands. I ate with her and put some bugs bunny on the other laptop so we could each keep busy.
It’s an honour to wash a baby the first time you see them
And then, when a daughter of yours brings her baby girl to you for the day and night, you are simply honoured. I spent the afternoon in further bliss, cradled and fed my granddaughter, and gave her a warm bath at night before she slept. There was no melancholy at all thinking of my girl Ange Claire, and I knew it is well.
Sometimes, we find so much bliss and serenity and inner peace where least expected. Sometimes, when our plans and programs change, let’s keep open minds and hands to receive what else comes – we just may be as pleasantly surprised and merry as I was today. Did I even ever mention having a nursery school was one of my top retirement plans? Lord help me – I am just full of gratitude for all the talents/gifts and passions I have been bestowed!!!
It’ll be ok Son, one day we’ll own a motor bike lol
I will write an entire blog post at the end of this special spiritual journey/fasting, to share my personal experience, the pros and cons of such a profound journey. But let me just state the fact that whenever you decide to do something in life, the ego and the self centered self seek to take center stage and direct you. This will definitely conflict if what you are embarking on is spiritual in nature – for example a fast.
On Wednesday 07/03, the 7th day of stage 1 of this thrilling spiritual journey am on, a conflict arose in the form of how to deal with Gaby’s Shi Shi*. He didn’t want to bathe – inshort he didn’t want to go to school even though they were starting 4th sequence exams that morning. Hod up now, he even wanted to switch education systems again back to French ha. I don’t even know where to start with the merry go round…
I first told him to give me a minute and I went into my loo to pray. I asked for serenity and discernment (Those are the first lines of my personal prayer). There wasn’t much time left. I invited Gaby to come bathe with me (inviting or allowing any of them into the loo my love is a privilege no one wants to ruin), he was calm and started singing as he often does when bathing. I joined in (I hadn’t planned on going out that early nor going for a walk, I wanted to do some small sports once they all left) and sang and danced with him until I realized he was in no haste to leave of course lol.
He said if I should please accompany him to school which was the idea I had anyway. We walked kind of fast (20 mins and not 40 when you don’t hold his hand and he gets to kick pebbles and watch birds hahaha), and by midway he was more mellow and we started to gist. At the school entrance, he met some friends and all was good – bye mummy…
It was then I continued walking taking a longer route, and I stopped by my former landlady (who owns the home where my marital sagas unfolded leading to my fleeing – she knows it all and stepped in a few times God bless Ma Made). Her grand daughter now a young miss, asked after the boys and especially about ‘le petit Alain la’. She still thinks of them like small boys although she is only a year older than Alain now. When I jokingly told her Alain was big and macho and could date her now, Maeva blushed and sad lol like they do. I always check in on Ma Made every now and then because she was simply put awesome to me and us all when we were her tenants.
When I got home, I met David outside (the college guy didn’t have school today because their class finished exams yesterday, and they were asked to stay home for a 3 day break, while Alain finishes today) He was fiddling with the neighbour’s motor bike, and I was taken down memory lane…
Motor Biking 101 in Bxl 2015
Back from my walk and down memory lane
Thanks to Gaby therefore, I had a good 56 minutes walk, I saw Ma made and Maeva (whom I last saw on New Year’s morning), and I sat on the neighbour’s motor bike and went down memory’s lane to a moment in time when I had a length Period of Grace before my relocation back home.
All in all, I didn’t raise my voice nor use a whip, Gaby bathe and went to school not whinning anymore about moving back to french system of education, I did exercise and got even some extra.
When life shows up with some twists, twist yourself around calmly and you may just have fun in the process like I did…
*Shi Shi: local slang in french to mean childish whining or something of the sort
p.s: My friend comes back from school 2 good hours after they closed, he stopped at a friend’s house he slurs. I look at him like that… sigh and say a silent prayer, then I take away 2 of the 3 mangoes I kept for him. He loves mangoes very much, maybe he could learn a lesson from there? I mean he could tell or ask me this morning he wanted to hang out at a friend’s after school; and that’s not even cool to just leave school and go to peoples’ homes like you don’t have one right?
Sharing to inspire and motivate especially parents in the blogosphere – wishing us all loads of patience in dealing with and bringing them kids up
mum, author, mental health advocate, therapist, inspires & motivates with personal experiences