Category Archives: My Heroines

Cycling all the way to the finish line…it was worth it…thank you God, thank you Universe


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Picture taken 06.05.18 Healing eye was still taking its time too lol

God is God, God is not Man…He has done it again in my life period.

Watch this 18 seconds celebratory clip lol

It has been with tremendous honour and humility that I cycled on, braving it uphill amidst sometimes intense emotional, mental and physical challenges, some from quarters hard to imagine; while also at other times, sometimes steadying my balance as I sloped downhill especially towards the end of each stage of the journey started last March 01 2018.

Spiritual Journey Notebook
These notes may make another memoir someday right?

Can we say this was a spiritual journey or what? It can’t be explained to anyone’s satisfaction – I just came to conclude; I can only share some to hopefully inspire and motivate so that anyone set out on any dear project of theirs, especially one of a ‘spiritual cum purification’ nature, will brave on and hang on … yes it was worth it. Let me try to sum it more…

So, this was a four stage spiritual journey dictated to me by my inner voice (call this crazy am ok with that – I do work in a psy ward anyway); and you could refresh on my preparedness for each stage by clicking 1, 2, 3, or 4.

I got to find out the names of the stages and the reason for their breakdown into 7, 14, 21 and 28 days on the first day of the 4th stage last April 23rd (this happened to be the anniversary of my beloved Grandma’s passing and I was real emotional). So, the stages were dictated to me to be:

Stage 1: Stage of New Beginnings (7 days were sufficient for me to see how new it would be if I persisted)

Stage 2: Stage of Determination (14 days was ample time to get real and hang on)

Stage 3: Stage of Discipline and Dedication (This was the make or mare stage and only perseverance for 21 days could take me on)

Stage 4: Stage of Grace (28 days to feel the Grace to my core amidst all what can go wrong and right full cycle)

Come on someone say wow, this happened and happens to me… am so in tune with my spirit and my world inside out, my prayers have been answered, I guess this is the price I was thinking I am very well prepared to pay, to benefit from and deserve to keep benefiting from all these gifts and responsibility and the accompanying Graces…I am so proud of me, I am my own heroine…dare to be yours for you sure can…

I will be writing more in the days ahead, today I am simply in awe of my tenacity and resilience; including the 3 days break in between stages; I fasted and watched myself like a hawk for 79 days…

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Eating some day with near fire and fury after I broke my fast – captured by Alain lol

I’ve got to learn to eat and do other stuffs again lol, but I don’t miss not shouting, getting angry and having attack thoughts…serenity and discernment are really my daily portions now… Aw I love this new me and am so proud of her…she is indeed a brave lady and will live her purpose in all faith…she self-evaluates herself at 85% and this is an A PERIOD!!!

For tonight, let me go and celebrate with my muskeets at this new Ice cream house (opened in January but we had to have a big reason to go check it out lol – with us it’s always about making memories out of moments) in our neighbourhood. We had decided in our last family meeting to draw a budget and save to go check it out when I crossed the finish line of my official spiritual cum purification journey.

I know it is a life time journey, and am ok with this… I am well passed lesson 100 of the student manual in A Course in Miracles, and taking it in strides with the other sections of the book. One day I may write about my journey studying and practicing all am learning in there…

A very soulful expression of deepest gratitude to all those who encouraged and motivated me with encouragements or otherwise. You may have been very few, but quality has always mattered to me over quantity.

I just got struck by Marianne Williamson’s quote on our deepest fear yesterday and I find it so apt to summarize this journey I so bravely undertook.

Some reached out to me, seemingly concerned about the length of the fast and the physical effect especially with an inflamed eye quickly confirmed by them to be a result of the food deprivation – come on, food was the least I was working on or fasting from. Others were scared I had joined a sect or was visibly mentally ill/challenged and should seek professional help – I think my Age and tenacity saved me. I was left in awe and near mute where all this fear came from, why some could be seeming led by fear to the edge of outright panic attacks? So what is this deep fear?

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Be inspired and motivated everyone, have a great weekend

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Remarkable Rachi my bosom friend and heroine


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Remarkable Raving Rachi all the way, and all the time

Ain’t she remarkable just by her smile and posture?

It is the practice here that during third term holidays (summer holidays for you bushfallers/those who live abroad), ‘children who didn’t do well in school, or the naughty ones like myself, were sent or punished to attend holiday classes for at least one month.

We lived on another side of town, while the holiday classes mum chose was in my former primary school premises on the other side of town. I was the only one sent aka ‘punished’ but I looked so forward to that.

Prima, it was a school which held such sweet souvenirs of among others, bathing each day under the tap, fighting, and losing my school bag sometimes. I mean lots of fun and tears all mixed from that era – the first school I attended, close to 6 good formative years. Secundo, being alone meant No Supervision! You got that? I could leave home, get there, do whatever, and then go back home. I was 14 years old, just the right age too.

Soon after starting, a new student came to our class, and she was so soft and a little shy. I walked up to her at break time on her very first day, and after introducing myself, told her I found her remarkable. She already wore glasses even back then and I remember how she looked at me and then blushed oh my.

Remarkable Rachi and I have been friends since then, a friendship which is second to none other from my teenagehood. Life has happened to both of us, but we have been here and there for each other. Better friends today than ever. Rachi (now a bushfaller since university oh) sent me a remarkable coat I call my ‘pinky plush’. It’s so warm, like she knew what I needed and loved.

My pinky plush all the way even with a big sore eye lol hahaha  – photo taken 22.03.18

Maybe I will return to wearing some ‘Whoopi Goldberg’ sort of googles, or one like Rachi’s? or maybe have a pirate’s eye hahaha – anyway back to remarkable Rachi indeed.

And so, recently I asked my remarkable Rachi if I could blog about her, below is an excerpt of our chat which I got permission to share – kinda of a transcript right?

[16/03 09:21] Marie Abanga: Rachi oh, you know I get a segment for my blog called my heroines. You mind I blog about you? If yes then no problem, if no, then any preferred picture I can use?
[16/03 09:21] Marie Abanga: If no picture allowed I still understand and am grateful
[16/03 09:22] Rachi: 😂😂😂 Ayo Ayo (my nickname which has stuck – it means joy in one Nigerian dialect and so I love it)
[16/03 09:24] Rachi: Wetti I don do for ‘ve (she wonders what makes her deserve being my heroine lol) considered heroine? 😂😂. Na ma big forhead weh small sense dey inside?
[16/03 09:24] Marie Abanga: You’ve been here and here with and for me in the most simple ways
[16/03 09:25] Marie Abanga: You’ve let me into your amazing family and into your room and kitchen
[16/03 09:25] Marie Abanga: You’ve sent me my lovely coat of pinky plush
[16/03 09:26] Marie Abanga: And for the boys too, Alain yi own na near relic
[16/03 09:26] Marie Abanga: My heroines are my everyday champions
[16/03 09:26] Rachi: Oh my sweet Ayo, I am blushing (did I say she loves blushing?).
[16/03 09:27] Marie Abanga: Those few who witnessed my craze and read and heard and still loved me so
[16/03 09:27] Rachi: Ayo, what about the toilet and the bathtub? 😂😂😂
[16/03 09:27] Marie Abanga: Rachi, I tell people while they live and say it on my blog and not in church lol
[16/03 09:28] Marie Abanga: That na the most special (I mean the toilet and bathtub, 1st time I ever entered into one was at Rach’s) , you no mind I add that one? Who was already blushing now?
[16/03 09:28] Rachi: You really know. That’s why you are who you are to us too. 💋💋
[16/03 09:29] Rachi: This is what I call the little things in life go a long way.
[16/03 09:30] Marie Abanga: Rachi, I get a special relationship with toilets (remember the post the loo our love?)
[16/03 09:30] Rachi: Tell me
[16/03 09:31] Marie Abanga: Yes they do and I decide this year to always try to wear a smile for all and sundry cause you never know who will see only that one for the day, or whose life will be bettered because of that
[16/03 09:33] Marie Abanga: Growing up a ‘naughty’ child, the toilet was a hiding place from my mum’s spanking. Later oh with my step mum who forbade my brother and I from leaving our room, going to the toilet was the only logical excuse for leaving that room
[16/03 09:34] Rachi: I can imagine Ayo
[16/03 09:34] Marie Abanga: The toilet became our respite and we could go alone or together and just sit in there for even up to 20/30mins until someone knocked lol
[16/03 09:35] Rachi: Weh my dear.
[16/03 09:35] Marie Abanga: Up to today, my toilet in particular is my sanctuary more than my room
[16/03 09:35] Marie Abanga: The safest place in my home and even where I get some incredible inspiration
[16/03 09:36] Marie Abanga: I meditate more often in there, I have even fallen asleep sitting there a few times lol
[16/03 09:40] Marie Abanga: Now the best for this morning is that last week, I got the title and all 12 chapters of my 2019 book right in there, I also finally got my purpose dictated to me in Gold in there. I had my journal with me and I wrote that down and then cried before being grateful. I got the confirmation I had to go back to school and study psychology to cape the therapy achievement, and I just got an internship at Laquentinie hospital to start in April at the psychiatric ward for two months. I wore my pinky plush jacket for the interview thank you darling
[16/03 09:46] Rachi: Wow. All of this is awesome. We really get to catch up. I go try call you this weekend.

Rachi

And so dear gentle readers and followers, ain’t having such a bossom friend truly remarkable? I mean she is relaxing, reassuring, remarkable, reliable, responsible, resourceful, respectable, restful, regardful, religious, resounding, resplendent and I stop at these lol…

Let me therefore wish us all be inspired and motivated. If you have one as remarkable as Rachi in your life, treasure them, and if you are one as remarkable as Rachi to another, know you are so appreciated…

Sahadat my PA, all in one at the office and my Heroine


When you pray for something, you get it. That works for me – and I mean all the time – it may just not be on our time, or the way we want it, but it definitely shows up.

That is how Sahadat showed up nearly 2 years after I started praying for an all in one at the office. Sahadat or my miss as I fondly call her, is the type we call in french “la force tranquile” (the calm force). I don’t know how else to put it, nor show the universe how grateful I am to have Sahadat in my life.

I first met my miss ( She was a Miss for real at the University a few years back oh), when I lectured/facilitated a masters course called The Law of Enterprises in Difficulties. She caught my attention because she wasn’t the smiling type and hardly looked my way when she entered the class. She however never missed a class and answered any questions I asked her. Long story short, I got through her and she became a group leader of an all male team. On the day of their presentation, they all agreed she was a ‘no nonsense leader”. Their group was among the best needless to say.

Here is a line of what she wrote to me at the end of our course: “Thanks for all the beautiful remarks, you are the best female teacher ive ever had…”(unedited)

We kept in touch and one day I mentioned to my miss I was looking for an intern. She started out as one and had gradually morphed into my all in one at the office and my heroine.

The line is definitely blurred between us as in she is my staff, sister, baby miss, PA, and a generous aunty to the boys. Two days ago she was sick, I made her a hefty and healthy breakfast since we were to work from home, made her some ginger/turmeric tea and bullied her to eat. Later I saw she really needed more rest, and so I sent her back home. I asked her if she could have done same for me if I were sick (since she was first refusing my offer to nurse her some), she agreed, and so I asked her why I couldn’t do same for her without having to bully her. She told me in camouflaged words like my son Israel did, that my type of love ‘can suffocate’. We laughed over it, she ate her food and drank the warm healing tea, and then she was good to go back home.

Sahadat has some of my passwords, manages my calendar, is a quick learner and doer and much more.

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Working with me from home, my miss is all focused while I fidgit around lol

I am sincerely so grateful for Sahadat. I am no longer the only female in my team at the office lol.

Did I add how humble and grateful too she was? I wish all entrepreneurs a dynamic colleague like Sahadat and I hope we stay on for a while before a bigger and better offer comes her way lol

Aime mon amour: their second mum and my heroine


This is Aime and her two kids, she lives two homes away from us. I have known her for like 18 months and I am so grateful for her. Her two kids are like mine too, and the little girl and I especially get along so cool.

Talking about her daughter Samira, when I got to know them, she wasn’t walking nor able to sit down on her own. Of course talking was out of the question. Her mum was tired of bringing her to the hospital and giving her all those meds and vitamins they were soon running out of money buying.

Her dad was not around pretty much, and when he was, he just dropped money and maybe even some bashing on the poor lovely mama for any flimsy reason.

I coached Aime, to heal her own heart, and then we helped Samira with more love and nurturing. We introduced Soya beans into her food (mostly still soft or outright liquid because she had barely any teeth to chew), and I courted her dad to make him realize the child could be suffering from poor nurturing by both of them.

Gradually, we made progress and Samira’s weight improved so good, today at three she is all set to go. A lot has also changed in their home and Aime who used to skin her son and I’ll hear his screams two homes away, doesn’t waste her energy and ruin their relationship so anymore. I am so proud of Aime for starting sports and loving same.

Now, talking about being the boys’ second mum, Aime has the key to our Home. Aime understands me so well and steps in when am sick, tired or absent say on a trip. I am so grateful I don’t have to worry when away (am currently in Yaounde since yesterday), because I know Aime is just two homes away.

In January 2017, and January 2018, we went out on new year’s night, just the two of us for a respite. It is tradition now, and we look forward to doing same in January 2019 with gusto.

And did I forget to mention that Samira is a chatter box now? that Aime is a seamstress and sews all my African attires? Yes she has done all I have had stitched since moving to this neighbourhood in March 2016, even these yummy ones below lol

I wish us all, especially struggling parents emphasis on single ones of course), to work on building a support system with at least an Aime like in there.

Bon weekend à tous

Lighting this candle in front of the Madonna for Dyane Harwood


My dearest Dyane Harwood, author of the incredible memoir titled Birth of a New Brain, who recently took a hiatus from blogging over at Proudly Bipopar, is having surgery today following a freightening fall last week.

She calls me her fairy GodMother, and we are soul sisters.

No surgery to me is small surgery ( I stayed asleep one hour more after due time post a ‘small surgery’in 2008), hence I lit a candle and will leave it on until it burns out.

Please, find it in you to say a prayer, make a get well wish or drop her a line via any channel you chose – she loves twitter most lol.

Tribe, arise and let’s show one of us some love through this ordeal and post recovery…Amen

 

 9 soul wishes I have on my 39th Birthday are…


More than any birthday wishes or gifts; reading and reflecting on this post will bring me such joy and appreciation for your time

  1. That my PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) be as visible as my RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis);
  2. That when my head spins like a carousel making it hard to think and act normal, it attracts as much sympathy and why not empathy, just like when my joints ache and my knee cap swells making it hard to walk;
  3. That when the inflammations from the RA make me writhe in pain and am more nervous, agitated and weird, it be just understood as the natural consequence of the physical pain without any allusion to my PTSD;
  4. That when I need to rest or stay away and just be alone doing my thing,  even if I should normally be functional and ‘acting normal’, it will not be construed as having an attitude;
  5. That whether on any meds or not, that should not determine/grossly affect my state of health, wellbeing nor feeling of belonging;
  6. That my sons grow to not distinguish between my conditions but get it that I need to rest and recuperate either condition;
  7. That my sons shun from stigmatizing anyone be it in our extended family or not, who may be struggling with any condition be it physical or mental;
  8. That any friends am making henceforth know like the few I still have that I have both a physical and mental illness, that am not defined by any of them, but that I don’t tolerate any stigma of my person nor of any person living with either illness or health conditions;
  9. That I always remember to be grateful for all I have lived and currently live, and especially that I didn’t commit suicide as attempted February 2009 when I thought that was the best solution to my then miserable existence…

  I have but 9 wishes, because the other 30 slot years of my life have oh been so graciously filled with so much to be grateful for… It is only getting better and I thank my angels and Guardian Angel for my family and my dear ‘e-family’ from whom I have learned so much and with whom I share so much.

P.s: The irony this year is, I wrote this post on Monday 15th and had an RA flareup on Tuesday 16th and was bed grounded on Wednesday 17th January. The get well soon messages on different mediums made me reflect if I had blogged about suffering a mental meltdown.

Anyways; Here is a recap of some of  my previous birthday posts since the great redemption. I was born on a Thursday too so it feels special special lol 

2015 Year of Redemption;

2016 Year of Love (was sick and on a 3 weeks blogging break-although I got a surprise birthday cake from the host of a TV Show I was guest on – that was so touching) 37th-birthday ;

2017 year of Gratitude

My birthday Vlog of that very painful 2014 (When I lost my only brother Gabriel and near lost all my mind) still holds today. Hope the message resonates

Give Kids the World: Show the love while they still live


 

Those beautiful kids will never meet my grandma not only because we are continents apart, but also because she died this wednesday at mum’s at the ripe old, gracious age of 91. Mami mami as I called and nagged her from childhood, did love children and spoilt us with candies, food and stuffs she could afford. Had she been able, she would have loved to donate to such a noble cause for kids.

I am not mourning for my Mami Mami because she lived a grateful and gracious life, thankful for even the glass of water she drank ever often. I loved her of course and enjoyed washing her toilet, clothes and even body when she couldn’t do it all alone again. That picture was in 2013 shortly before Mami Mami’s health started to fail the following year. She lived for three more years therafter and stood the test a while.

Please, am not asking for any sympathy not creating any tribute fund (not that it would appeal to any you my gentle followers who may however not know me well enough to give me your money). I am however asking you to donate to a cherished blogger’s search for kind and caring people as he prepares to be a super hero at the Give Kids the World village in February 2018.

May a recent comment he left on a previous post of mine on this same issue, answer any other questions you may have/make it more appealing for you to donate whatever amount you can.

“There is no bigger heart than the one that reveals itself when we offer our services to others in need. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your heart with all your readers and helping them become aware of “GIVE KIDS THE WORLD.” This is an organization whose ONLY purpose is to give critically ill children an experience of a lifetime. Not only have you shared this mission with your readers, you have personally chosen to participate in contributing to this benevolent organization.

I have reached out to many people asking for help. A few have explained their predicament preventing their ability to contribute. I appreciate their candor and honesty. Most, however, have chosen to “look the other way” expecting the rest of the world to deal with this. It is disappointing at the very least to become aware of the reality that so few people care about each other’s welfare.

I have spent my career seeking answers and providing for people’s health needs. When people couldn’t afford my fees for service (but showed true concern about their health issues) I provided the services without fees. If the only time we’re willing to “GIVE” to others is when we can achieve personal gain, we are imposing obstacles and blinding ourselves to great opportunities in life. We must come to realize that this one on one exchange only provides one source of benefit. When we reach out and GIVE to the world, countless numbers of people will reach back.

I hope your readers find it in their heart to donate to GIVE KIDS THE WORLD. This organization provides ALL EXPENSE PAID VACATIONS for critically ill children AND THEIR FAMILIES from around the world! It is one of the most transparent charities I’ve discovered and provides over 92% of the money raised DIRECTLY to the children in need keeping administrative costs and salaries exceptionally low.

Since some people have concerns about the legitimacy of various charities, I encourage anyone to visit charity navigator (an independent organization that rates 1000’s of charities worldwide.) You will be pleased with their confidence rating and more comfortable supporting this charity.

Thank you again, dear Marie for all that you have done. If anyone wishes to join us on this wonderful mission, they can click on the following link to show their love and commitment to the children of the world.
http://support.gktw.org/goto/JCsGoingOverTheEdge
Once you reach the home page, click on the green DONATE button at the top right side of the page.

Thanking everyone in advance for consideration and support of the mission I pursue for children”.

Dr. Jonathan N. Colter

 

Thank you therefore all, may you be moved to click right here and donate to Doctor’s campaign

Have a great weekend

Could You vote for Anyi Asonganyi aka Ozi Internatiomal as best make up artist Cameroon Please?


Last week I blogged about my talented and beautiful baby cousin as featured on Amy Banda’s blog. So, she’s been nominated for this prestigious national award and anyone from any where ofcourse can vote for her. Can you my beloved e-family help me with your precious vote?

https://cameroonfashionaward.com/ just follow that link and scroll through vote to best make up artist. Vote for Ozi International.
In gratitude

Cynthia my niece and heroine in Peabody MA


Will that be 3 D or what? Whoop whoop whoop

Cynthia and her proud parents infront of her street sign

So world, after some cheeky emotional and physical times with 3 family deaths in a month, more stuffs and some joints inflammations, am going to braggingville.

Cynthia’s mother is a paternal first cousin and not just any one. Her own mum raised dad her baby brother when their own mum died and he was barely 5. We grew up together and Cynthia’s mum is my dad’s daughter by all account. All my paternal cousins call him daddy for he was a big family man.

So, back to Cynthia my heroine. She is our family star of course and I personally so proud of her. Had somebody showed me some support I would have been an athlete too. It’s in our gene. I ran all over as a kid and teen, played volley, hand and even football (soccer for Americanas) etc.

Cynthia has a street sign with her name now and I mean what else can I say? Inspiration and Motivation right in my own lineage right?

Thank you Cynthia you are definitely my heroine. Thanks to her awesome parents for nurturing her so. 

Now guess what Cynthia’s brother is into? That’s for another post of course