Running Away From…?


There comes a point in time

When you muster the courage for the review

You look at them inside out

The flash cards of the lifeathon

The near out of breathe you’ve sometimes experienced

The long and wide distances you’ve covered

The impulsive, compulsive & obsessive thoughts and actions

The numerous and sometimes weird people who took you oh for so granted

The ceaseless times you doubted, loathed and devalued your own self

The frustration, exasperation and near extinction

The very tricky race…

Ah: Who were you running away from?


What were you running away from?

You’re near a decade to half a century old

And there seems to be no one else following you but you

Ain’t it real time to look at those flash cards again?

To stop piling new ones onto what seems like a trash hip?

Oh how I wish this could be a fairy tale

The likes I dreamt of reading Cinderella and Snow White

Couldn’t there be a life school with a kindergarden section?

One you really went to before formal school?

Well, am counting my blessing and seizing every chance


Several dawns have come by since my 3 decades and a half

I guess now is time for that spiritual retreat

When it was first offered I scorned

Oh how I thank you Lord for my source of unconditional love

3 days of just me and YOU in all intimacy

To hell ever running away from … again

Ten Tough Tricks To Losing Weight with Lose It


A very recent me (2016.10.22)

Wow, it’s been a month since I decided to dare it and brave it to not only get on a dreaded scale, but to also join Dyane on Lose it – becoming a member of the awesome wondrous writers group.

To be candid, this wasn’t my first time creating a profile on that Lose It program, but you all know how quick we can find excuses not to… I had even forgotten about that profile or the password, and ended up creating a second profile when I thought it was now down to business or else my thighs will greatly embarrass me someday you know…

It hasn’t been easy since then, but I am striving to thrive and have learnt some tough tricks along the line… I share them, hoping to make someone’s adventure better:

  1. Fall in love with water: it will initially add to your weight, but the love affair will be worth it when you lose grams of sugar and more kilojoules🙂
  2. Get on a dang scale even if only once a week: don’t dread it cause they don’t lie and you need to log whatever it reads you know:)
  3. Therefore, ahead of getting on that dang scale, watch what you eat and log that in religiously: I used to think exercises were the  only trick, but am learning it otherwise  :)
  4. But, don’t get me wrong here: exercises are very important- trust me on this I have been in the weight loss school a long while now with some struggle to shed out and keep off 35kgs and counting… These exercises pay off by adding to your food budget, helping the calories burn off faster, and keep you in a good mood for life and the business of living🙂
  5. Join a group or create one: even if you start off alone, you can inspire and motivate yourself and soon the group will grow- hence more inspiration and motivation:)
  6. Keep up, dare it and brave it all the way: keep trying and giving it your best regardless of the scale numbers and your physical cum mental disposition🙂
  7. Get a personal plan or mantra and write it on your forehead: Mine are Determination-Discipline-Dedication… I try to be true to that and I know it works🙂
  8. Give yourself treats: small ones you know, so that you don’t feel so miserable having to work and fight so hard and sometimes not even see any results in the meantime🙂
  9. Share you progress: be it on the group you joined or even on your blog or etc… Share the gains and the loss, both are helpful… You pick up more weight instead- it’s ok that’ll go if you stick to your plan; you lost more weight already, yuppie keep up and you’ll lose more and hopefully not add any even if more doesn’t go away in the meantime🙂
  10. Be proud of yourself for even just making and taking the decision to do something about the nagging kilos (they could very well be seen or invisible)🙂

P.S, I have already lost 4.5 kgs and am proud of myself. The challenges were and are many, but those tough tricks are helping me out… According to plan, I’ll reach my target weight on Dec 30 2016 and am hoping to keep to it…

Wishing us all the best in our endeavours, and cheers to all weight watchers and losers and hopefuls: and why not join us on Lose It looking out for our vibrant Wondrous Writers Group🙂

Ella Nostra Bella

Almost always alert
Almost always alert

There is no doubt we are all in for a blast of love and all with our beautiful Ella

Nice weekend to us all and thanks to all who shared my excitement and shared tips🙂

Gestation hours in preparation for Ella

Dear World…

It is with so much excitement and even trepidation that I announce the hours left till I go bring Ella home…

Gestation is one of the synonyms for getting ready and well I looked for a word with effect because welcoming Ella to our household will have a similar effect on us four…

She will be a sibling to the boys, and we all agree to consider her a girl and not seek to find out her gender…

She will be a daughter, friend, and so much more to me… her name was nearly Ulla but I thought last minute it not to name a pet after our beloved Ulla… gladly the boys voted 2:1 to have her called Ella…

I first met her yesterday at my former Landlady’s (she’s one of my mama I met as a tenant and will remain one for life), but didn’t bring her immediately home because well I had to discuss that with my teammates/housemates…

They all were so excited and said I should have brought her home… hence am going back for her today as in a few hours (5 or so)

Oh my at long last I’ll have my own cat (and at barely 3 weeks, she’s literally a baby to our familly)… I wish I knew her breed because my SSh’s family had a siamese cat and he told me so much about that breed…

Anyway, am working rush rush rush so I have the afternoon free to go get Ella and bring her home with joy and love… and sure get her small stuffs you know…

Just took a moment to share this with you…

Anyone has some tips to share?

Release those bags: A picture which says it all…


I truly wish it were not so easier said than done. I however think the emphasis is in striving to release them and not to look back. To care about our mental wellbeing and do something as soon as we can so the weight of those bags not ruin our bones. Of keeping faith in hope, of accepting our limitations mindful of the need to release all of them bags quick before we collapse. Of forgiving ourselves above all, and of releasing the bags as we can; as we move on…

Happy sunday to all, peace and love and healing all the way

Seeing the Light

It took me 37 years but I have no regrets. I am glad I have finally seen the light, Amen

Grace for my Heart

It’s Narcissist Friday!     

How long did it take you to see the light? Some have lamented that it took 40 years for them to see the truth and do something about it. So many wish they had separated from their narcissist before they had kids, signed that contract, moved their family for the new job. They kick themselves for not seeing the light sooner.

“Wasted time.” That’s what they call it. Time in which they could have been happy. Time in which they could have accomplished some of their dreams. Time that was lost to fear and sadness and turmoil.

Listen: I don’t believe that was wasted time! Every moment of my life has been used to bring me to where I am today. Maybe I didn’t accomplish all I wanted when I wanted, but I am here now and glad of it. I didn’t like all the…

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Can someone tell dad I need a hug and not a handshake?


Hello world,

A girlfriend of mine was recently praising Obama so much and I got hooked ,nearly drooled…

I finally got a minute in her mono rambling to ask her what personally affected her in his ways: she looked at me and asked if I didn’t see how he hugged his girls…

And then it dawned on me that over 50% of our African dads may never hug their daughters at all…

This flashed me back to a draft I wrote called “Healing Hug”, (I never posted that post because I stumbled on a website called Healing Hugs and didn’t know if they hay copyrighted that name or something) and I agreed with her that a hug from one’s dad could definitely make big difference…

Or should I even stretch by saying a hug from one’s parent…?

My Turning Point: And This is my Testimony

Link to Kindle_border
It was on the 10th of October
A day commemorated as World Mental Health Day
The theme was psychological first aid;
First aids are what are within the patient’s or a care givers reach,
to administer before all breaks loose;
I had been seeing some patterns; unhealthy ones to say the least; and my mind, heart and soul were taking tolls;
And I prayed and I meditated and I cried;
I damned my ego, and then I spoke with and to some;
And I listened objectively to others;
I knew I had to get away to think it better;
Gladly there was a week’s opportunity in a distant land;
I returned with a resolve, surely there was a way out;
The truth was bitter but it had to be spoken, faced and dealt with;
On the 10th of October 2016, there came My Turning Point;
I courageously embraced same, and though sad to see some things go, I have faith in all the marvels that lie ahead;
I think my psychological first aid which has stuffed up along my life’s journey, did serve me tremendous;
I am so full of gratitude, I have in my life time met so wonderful people;
have unconditional love from my family;
I know on whose shoulders I stand, I know my Solid Rock; all other ground is sinking sand;
His Banner Over Me is Love, has simply ever been, My Heavenly Father will always see me through, has always done;
Peace be still I say to myself this morning, be glad to have reached your Turning Point:
And this is my Testimony – To God Be The Glory

World Mental Health Day 2016: Psychological First Aid

When I dare say I have a fragile mental health, all eyes are on me like yeah right whatever…

Now, this issue of mental health is gaining proportion although sadly seems like it is more accepted you are ‘a cause for concern’ when you are walking haphazardly on the street pulling a trolley or bag of junk’…

And so I find out the WHO theme for this year’s (what? celebration, commomeration,…?) psychological first aid…

This week and maybe even the last, have been sort of roller coaster for me, edging between not having it in me one bit, to not finding enough time to do all I planned…

Without much a do about ‘something’ as important about caring for our brains and minds, I’ll like to invite you all my dear and gentle readers and followers to leave a coment about that theme… I don’t know but I can’t break it down much and hope even inviting us all to brainstorm together is some mental health advocacy you know:

Some leading points are:

  1. What could be put in such a first aid?
  2. Who should be best drilled to administer same and why?
  3. For how long should firstaid be attempted before full aid is sought?
  4. Any other thoughts or matters arising from the 3 above?

Thanks for stopping by …

In Memoriam of all those whose lives were cut short by a mental illness

It’s been 13 years since I stumbled onto & into Motherhood

10 days to D Day

Wow : How time flies…

He’s such a young man today and even has his own Bo like swag…

I still remember how it happened – I have said it over and again I felt it the moment he got into me, and I told his dad with whom I wasn’t supposed to be in the first place, that it had happened…

Yes, he is the fruit of one of my most unconventional loves and lives – but oh yes, how I love him just so so so much – He the appex of my joys and sorrow…there’s been no fairy tales in my life … I have stumbled onto and into many things and even motherhood I must be candid… never planned nor groomed so to speak… but am happy just as is…

So, I remember asking his dad what next, and he told me excitedly that he was going to provide for his son ; I inquired if he knew what it took, and he said whatever it took wasn’t gonna be above him… Like he knew what mother or parenthood was all about…

5 days after his birth, on his way to be circumcised – I cried so bad that day and was sent out of there (blurry picture due to age now)

It’s been rough and tough terrain for me, who has practically been the sole parent he knows ; It’s been rough and tough terrain for me who has had to learn to be a transcontinental mother and be brave about it…

I stumbled onto motherhood because it already existed in several homes including ours, although growing up in there I never learnt from it nor envied it to be candid. It seemed to me you had no more ‘life’ once you became a mother – I now know why a friend often told me her husband constantly reminded her her future was behind her – that future was those kids she had to make sure grew up the best possible way and could be proud of the mother who raised them…

An aunt told me they are the reason I wake up everyday and indeed that’s so true – when I was oceans away from them and had trouble even speaking with and to them, life was pretty miserable and I hit some real lows…

one-of-our-moments-1I stumbled into motherhood and today find myself mum to three jolly guys I fondly call my musketeers. We are a team and most Friday nights are set aside for team building at some eat out. The deal is not what we eat out or where, but it’s the moment we share and the little ‘scoops’ they tell me about their day/week/pretty much anything. I sometimes get to answer some questions, but it’s pretty much about them and theirs. I have cherished those moments right from when they were in my womb.

On this day when my first baby turns 13 – it was exactly at 00:25 am on that 8th of October 2003, 40+ weeks to the date of the great fertilization, I am so grateful to God and so full of awe for this miracle and mystery called Life. I understand some about this motherhood now, I am deep into it with all four of us finally living under the same roof in a house full of peace and love which to me is much better than one filled with Gold and Silver – trust me I know the difference. I am so grateful for all I have met in my various journeys and all I have learnt and shared especially about motherhood…

Here is to all the mothers in the blogsphere; all those mothers who are perpetual caregivers; all those mothers who regardless of the age of their children, still take their vocation so seriously. My mum reminds me that and proves it over and again to me, I am trying and giving my best…ever conscious of the woman and mother I am becoming

Thank you for reading and all the best to us all

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