How do you live your life?

Muse with MAG: How do you live your life?

When I had settled down into my own home with my boys, and gone for that turning point and amazing 3 days spiritual retreat, I went on my knees and said my personal prayer over and over again. I begged the Lord to give me a sentence on how to live my life henceforth – one I will be centered by and will not consciously depart from. You know, serenity and discernment were already my watchwords, my mantra in doing all things was already embodied in my 3Ds of Determination, Discipline and Dedication to which I later added the 3Ps of Passion, Purpose and Productivity in 2017, but I needed a sentence which could as well reflect how I was already living, but which could remind me that was how I should continue. And I stumbled upon it in a book. Oh how I love reading. I saw the 4Ls in a book 3 years after I started praying for that sentence, the year in which I turned 40 ie 2019. How symbolic right? Here we go: I live, I learn, I laugh, I love…repeat….And it works…in every situation I am faced with, I gradually repeat this sentence to myself, looking for ways to live through it learning, laughing and loving. I mean, how else would I want to live my life? I don’t know about you, but seek and you shall find. It could take such patience and of course continuous living in the meantime lol…like God wants to watch how you are already doing it, and then He will direct you to where you’ll find that it is you seek. Remember He gave us a free will, I want to think that’s why He just doesn’t impose it on us? Anyways, to each their musings

#musewithMAG
#MAGinspires
#MAGmotivates
#MAGtakesthelead
#MAGisintentional
#howdoyoulive
#AttitudeofGratitude

 

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Marie Abanga on Mental Health and Services she offers

 

Hello world, after passing my exams in flying colours recently; setting out on a journey to launch a much desired and needed service as a CBT therapist and mental wellbeing coach, so grateful for all the support.

Have a great week everyone

Hopeless…Hopeful

Hopeless

Might as well

Hopeful

 

She crawled under her bed

It made no more sense

Such sham & shame

The Weight

Mind & Mass

Needless living on

Who cares what goes on

Sensless, pointless, needless

It is truly

HOPELESS

……….

she publishes a 4th memoir

Kinda movie

The 360°

Transformations

Hardwork

Tough Choices & Sacrifices

Faith, Hope, Love

It is truly

HOPEFUL

……….
(C) 2017 Marie Abanga

The end

P.s: Officially and in my inspired way, fully embracing my story and engraving it in my heart and on all walls of my home. I actually did crawl and stay for a while under my hospital bed the morning my daughter died, I prayed the ground open up for me. I spiralled for 6 months and survived another 6. Then although pregnant once again, it felt not worth living. I picked up a knife and then I got a kick from within and I dropped it hot. The transformation started dripping in from that moment… Be inspired…

Child Sexual Abuse: Today Georgi, who next???

Georgi and I share a hug before she leaves my home

Before we take leave of each other after 1.5 hrs

Sexual abuse of our children and young girls in Cameroon is becoming a call for concern.

Fortune RIP

It was barely a month ago that we learned of the case of 10 years old Marie Fortune who had been viciously and consistently raped by her aunt’s husband, leading to her death barely 10 days after being admitted in the hospital.

Last Friday 15th, we saw a picture on Facebook of a heavily pregnant 11 years old, and before we could reach out to the source to investigate and do some further advocacy, we received the following distress whatsapp chat from another victim [15/03, 12:25] Georgi: Bonjour Madame

[15/03, 12:26] Georgi: J’aimerais que vous prenez le temps de lire ce document

[15/03, 12:26] Georgi: J’ai besoin d’aide et je pense que vous pouvez m’aider à avancer dans ma vie

[15/03, 12:27] Georgi: Mais je vous supplie de le lire jusqu’à la fin

[15/03, 12:27] Georgi: C’est long je sais. Mais j’ai essayer d’être brève du mieux que je pouvais

[15/03, 12:28] Georgi: J’ai eu votre contact via un site internet après une longue recherche sur le net

[15/03, 12:28] Georgi: SVP ne me rejeter pas

[15/03, 12:54] .Marie A. Abanga: Salut Georgina, je vais la lire et revenir vers vous ok? Non je ne vous rejete pas.

She reached out in French and anyone who doesn’t understand French can kindly google translate same. She was pleading with me to read the 4 page story she sent me, and not to reject her. She concluded by saying she desperately needed all the help she could get because she wasn’t working/earning any income. I actually received her at my home(which serves as the temporal offices and center of the association Hope for the Abused and the Battered) that same evening at 5 pm, and we had a soulful hour and a half together.

How can I be silent?

We need to help Georgi find safer accommodation because where she moved to is still just as taxing although no more sexual abuse. The stigma, insults and control is taking a toll on the now 23 years old Goergi.

We also wish to help her to do a thorough medical check up because she still has pelvic pains and can’t afford to go to the hospital. Our Founder (that is myself – a certified CBT Therapist and Psychologist), is offering free psycho-therapeutic sessions to Georgi for as long as she needs these.

No donation is insignificant.  By Grace, the H4AB mental health care support center and safe halfway haven for victims like Georgi will be opened. Visit our website to know more about us, and to contact us directly to join or support our work. God bless us all. Thank you in advance as you donate and or share our campaign Georgi’s story in full and in French: could be read on our facebook page right here.

Follow this link to donate please: https://www.gofundme.com/MarieAH4AB

Commemorating not just a day, but an entire week in honour of my womanhood

BanceforBetter for myself before I step out

Speaking about the Rape and death of Fortune

Speaking about Female entrepreneurship

I chose the word commemorate instead of celebrate for different reasons.

I want to talk about how I made the International Women’s day 2019 memorable for myself and others. To begin with, the theme for this year was significant from two perspectives. #BalanceforBetter makes me think of two types of balances. The balance we women have or should strive to have with ourselves and with other sisters, and the balance of between the genders. All these balance for me are for the better.

I started going on air as early as the 4th of March as a guest on the Catholic radio and TV broadcasting media house called Veritas – the truth will set you free. You see, I am already a household name in my country especially in my community – and I am often invited to talk about pertinent societal issues like abuse and  of all forms, mostly drawing from my personal experiences. The candour with which I share make them invite me 3 times a year at least. I love going there too. I commemoration of my womanhood and my journey so far, I had a very authentic and even vulnerable 1 hour with the host.

The next day 5th of March I was on another platform called LTM TV where I was talking specifically about the sexual abuse of girls and women – the focus was on the vicious and consistent rape of 10 years old Fortune who had died on the 25th of February from complications. My advocacy was that if we didn’t put an end to such sexual abuse especially of young girl and babies even, where was society going to have the kind of women it needed? I mean strong, resilient, hardworking and even God fearing women.

talking challenges of female leadership

mum is second from the left

The very next day at 10 am I accompanied my mum and a panel of ladies to a daily show called in the House. The topic was the Challenges of female entrepreneurship and leadership. That too was so beautiful. The advocacy here was that we women had to stand up and push on. We had to keep hustling for our own financial independence, while asking assertively for a seat on the table – or better still draw up our own table like Meghan Markel Duchess of Sussex once advocated in a speech at the UN Women.

Thursday the 7th of March I went on air twice. At midday I did a Facebook live video to celebrate a very enterprising World Pulse sister here by name Agnes Kuoh. She has a foundation called Agui Foundation which trains women to be self reliant by doing a lot of stuffs they needed at home, and why could also be sold to gain some financial independence. She and I have met and bonded and I really appreciate her. I had already been on TV the prior week talking once more about female entrepreneurship using her example. AT 6 pm the evening, mum and I along with 3 other dynamic young ladies once more made up a panel to discuss a re-strategy of the IWD concept especially in our country which had infamously become renowned for excesses in drinking and debauchery of some women on the 8th of March. My mum seized the opportunity to announce the launch of her coaching and mentoring program.

Thursday 8th of March D Day proper, over 15 ladies were convened at my mum’s Diversity Management and Consulting Ltd firm for the launch of the ” Coach a girl to thrive program’. We had over an hour of training from her and fruitful discussions by all present. We ended the day with a little office cocktail, while I sat down soon thereafter to do a live video calling on women celebrate themselves and one another not only on that day but always. We women had to learn to be a sister’s sister and be there for one another like Michelle Obama famously encouraged.

Celebration is not the appropriate word for me when we think of what is going on in my country in the two English speaking regions of my country. A civil unrest poorly managed has left hundreds dead, some hundreds exiled, and many more hundreds internally displaced. To commemorate is defined as to serve as a memorial or reminder of; to honor the memory of by some observance of a day set aside by the international community for women to do the most they can to say “Look at us, we deserve to be noticed too, and we are here to stay, stop abusing us and relegating us to the back seat”.

The other days of that symbolic week were spent doing live videos on other aspects of our womanhood in my capacity as a survivor of Domestic Abuse, as founder of the association Hope for the Abused and Battered, as a psychotherapist and above all as a Christian. I equally participated to the best I could to activities organized by my church for the women – these took place on Saturday and Sunday 9th and 10th March. I can only be honest to say I have never commemorated any IWD as passionately, purposefully and holistically as I did this one. I am most grateful to the universe for the energy and opportunities.

Two speechless drawings from my sons make my day

Drawn by Gaby 9

Drawn by Steve 17

Not overstating or taking moods imbalances for granted, but I have been having a tough time for a couple of days now. I know I am tougher, and these drawings make my day today.

I am ever grateful for my sons and I love them unconditionally

The only way I can celebrate my womanhood is to renew my pledge for a better girlhood and womanhood

How can I be silent?

 

Some things happen in your society which affect you to the core even if you are not ‘related’ to the victims or parties concerned. An incident like that which happened last month in my country Cameroon, I mean in my city of Douala even, concerned a vicious rape and consistent defilement of a girl child for two years. The 10 year old girl finally gave up the ghost in hospital after two years of rape by her aunt’s husband, after developing waist trauma and cancer.

Yes, she is a girl, and not even my daughter some may say. But nope, she would have been a woman tomorrow, and she could have been my daughter. Our collective society is traumatized by such a despicable act, and this got me really thinking. I asked myself this: “Are you going to join other women to celebrate the international women’s day on the 8th of March this year under the theme #BalanceforBetter, when little girls women of tomorrow cannot even feel safe in their own homes? Where can any balance for better be seen here? I mean how many more rapes do we need to record in our communities before realizing how unbalancing it has all become? I was and I am still recovering from the shock of that act. I decided to make the following pledge to that baby girl:

Fortune I pledge

1) That I personally intend to seek an audience with Social Affairs and Justice Ministers, and work in collaboration with any other associations picking this case up;

2) That even if no one is joining me, I will do my best before leaving the rest to God;

3) That I wouldn’t worry about the resources to do what has to be done because I know God knows it all;

4) That I refuse to feel any stigma or entertain any stigma or naysayers on my way to seek Social Justice for your spirit, and all the others like you going through such unfathomable ordeals regardless of their age;

5) That in God I trust so that He will finish what He has started in and through me;

6) That the association Hope for the Abused and Battered which I founded last year, whose 3rd focus area is being the hope for children victims of abuse (especially sexual abuse), will champion your cause and those of the many others like you with all its energy;

7) That I make this pledge in all Faith, Hope and Charity. May God be my Helper for all times Amen

It was only then I felt like I am really living up to my womanhood, and that I could celebrate the freedom and opportunity I had to be such a fierce advocate for the abused and battered women not only in my community but in my country and the world at large. I think of countries where young girls and women don’t even dare to dream, they know that all what they can aspire to is become housewives the earlier the safer. I think of a documentary I once watched entitled; “India the worst place to be a woman”, and how grateful I was not to have been born there. I wonder which balance can be spoken of there and when it could ever get better.

There are several ways to celebrate our womanhood especially on the day the international community sets aside for that – 8th of March; let’s make it a celebration of impact and not just one of colourful fabric wearing and merry making as has been the tradition in my country for a long while now.

I am not saying merry making and fabric wearing are not good, I got my own fabric already stitched courtesy of my mum this very day. However, she knows I don’t do merry making on that day, I prefer participating in symposiums and media events to talk about female entrepreneurship, leadership and all other many issues hindering any real #BalanceforBetter; there is hope nevertheless, and I want to be the hope because I saw hope myself.

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When a 10 year old is consistently and viciously raped for two years before she dies…

Too much to bear

Fortune RIP

How can I be silent?

At H4AB, It’s all about Hope: Hope for Children Victims of Rape: The case of Fortune RIP

Hope for Children victims of sexual abuse because this is the worst form of childhood abuse we can ever imagine (26.02.19)

Fortune: Just 10 years old but her life was hanging on the drip. Viciously raped over and over by her aunt’s husband. She rested in the Lord yesterday 25.02.19 at around 2 pm. May she rest in but may her rapist know no peace.

Family matter it may be said, but the law is clear. This innocent child had been raped for 2 years consistently and viciously by one who was supposed to be her guardian.

Some legal colleagues and my humble self had been brainstorming how to take up the case pro bono. We had tried to make contact with her family and finally got to visit them in the hospital last week.

It was but normal that the first visit just be a familiarisation one, while we bring up the need to prosecute in our next visit. A visit which sadly wouldn’t take place.

Please all, let’s just say no once and for all to any suppression of information; and victimisation of victims all over again.

We parents and guardians can’t afford to continue pretending it’s ‘family matter’ and not good to expose perpetrators.

Imagine how much physical and psychological damage such attitudes cost the victims all the way into adulthood. Adverse childhood experiences is for real, and Fortune’s spirit is silently crying for Justice from the grave. The law on Rape in my country also leaves a lot to be desired.

Kindly help us draw public outrage and intervention by the Ministers of Justice and Social Affairs by signing and sharing our petition. We really appreciate: http://chng.it/Gn4F7bNH

One of those days when a mother’s heart is nearly ripped apart

I could never imagine my own son could have the courage to shoplift. Here below is a write up I shared on Facebook about the devastating events

Loving him tough all the way to the police station and more (20.02.19)

Sometimes all the love you show can’t stop the child from delinquency. Tough love becomes very necessary the earlier the better.

It was thanks to another major delinquency at home, the hiding of his brother’s phone to supposedly punish the later, that everything came to light.

The chocolates he had been stealing from Carefour market (a super market not too far from home), the oufer and headset.

I had to take them to the police station this morning and write a formal complaint because this morning even after the phone was discovered thanks to its alarm, he denied taking the phone.

After the police station, I brought him with the stolen things first to Carefour Market and then to Mahima (another super market) where he stole 2 body sprays.

It is never easy especially to realize all the love and efforts you show can still have such traumatic cracks.

But, I decided to show such extreme tough love now and not later. The security head at both shops took his statement and talked to him very sternly; he is also forbidden from entering those shops again. I had to pay for all the items stolen close to 20.000frs, they didn’t put penalties because I brought him myself.

He says he was seeing his friends with goodies in school and wanted his. When he stole once and wasn’t caught he felt comfortable doing it again and again from the two supermarkets.

Lord help us parents’ especially single parents.

Sadly, when I called his dad he told me it was my cup of tea. I refuse to play the blame game nor look at where the genetic predisposition could be coming from tschuippppp. I equally refuse to care about reputation and blablabla

Some Takeaways from my son’s shoplifting saga:1) Some children do shoplift not out of lack but peer pressure 2) Some parents may cover their children up out of pride, but not me o 3) prayers work. The shop had his file ready to take to his school, they had already noticed him in his school uniform 3 times. He has shoplifted a total of 6 times in one shop and 2 times in another shop 4) Our most quiet may be the most smooth mischief 5) Sibling issues can be solved by them in the most vicious way we can imagine (cold bloodily hiding his brother’s phone out of the house under a stone, and swearing heaven and hell he knows nothing about the whereabouts of the phone) 6) Thant I indeed love him unconditionally 7) That some still care even if you don’t talk all year round, I was so moved and feel so blessed o Amen

All is well now, I mean that same evening we all gathered for our healing circle and the matter was laid to rest as we broke bread together to put it so.

I am asking by faith and hope for a return ticket to London

I am asking on the faith of Mt 7:7, and with a lot of hope. I took so long to ask because asking has never been easy for me – especially asking from the public like this.

Ask and you shall receive: Marie Angele Abanga is asking for a ticket to London – that is what I receive already spiritually and start celebrating today – ouf that was tough but I wrote it and just repeated it to myself

I was seriously thinking about where I was going to get a ticket to go to London next month, precisely departure on the 15th of March – return on the 10th of April. I was musing and prayer for 3 days last week, and on Friday my spirit said well Mt 7:7. I looked it up and I started crying. I had to calm down and then talk with some before doing this today.

Maybe I am not the only one who finds it so hard to ask – I wasn’t and still am not an ‘I want person’. So, I tried to be still some more to listen if there was an alternative to doing this, but nope if you need you will have to ask before you can receive.

So there I go, I am asking for help to get a ticket to go to London. I checked and that will be around 550.000frs cfa or maybe less if I search other airlines and get it early – although March isn’t a peak travelling season so my hopes are high. That will make approx 916 usd or 611 pounds. I am so hopeful Amen – I mean if I were just offered a ticket wow how amazing and graceful.

I got that UK Visa last October on my faith, and an invitation letter for a summit which was long over before the visa was even granted. It occurred to me before I even got the visa, that the real reason for the trip will be revealed to me later as well as the when I’ll actually travel.

Last month, I was invited in my capacity of founder Hope for the Abused and Battered association, to be a guest speaker at a Women’s Conference on March 30th in London. I am equally hoping to use the trip for much needed networking and partners sourcing for the association.

With a mental health care support center to open; as well as a shelter for victims of domestic abuse, partners and members are definitely needed from everywhere.

I therefore want to already thank all those who will be reaching out through whatever means, to help me get this covered.

I know how cheerful I have always felt giving, may you feel same way too. It is true there is more joy in giving than in receiving, but this time around the joy will be so mutual.

I remain yours Marie Abanga Global – MAG aka MAGnectic.

To God be the Glory for evermore

#askandushallreceive

#MAGmuses

#MAGinneed

#MAGtakesthelead

#MAGisintentional

#lamMAGnectic

#letGodandLovelead

The End of the Commandment: All about Charity

Hello world,

I am so happy to find this post by Pete which I can only but Reblog. I am in Yaounde another city of Cameroon since the 1st of February, and I had decided this trip is for visiting as many as possible and just sharing my love. Love fills me with so much hope, I am confident in Christ sharing same…be it with my son from the streets turned marathoner above, or with Iris with whom I am in love since 2015.

Basking in their love too. The official business I have is this am, but I am already so grateful I came and have so far done just as planned and even much more. Because I am Freedom and Love, it’s all about love to me…Love is the same as charity …read Pete’s post which got nothing short of my 5 stars

 

via The End of the Commandment

How To Make Ends Meet During Recovery by Eva Benoit

Pre script: Am so grateful to receive another guest post from Eva  especially on a topic so close to heart and home. I have seen many addicted and so much pain, I know how challenging it is to make ends meet during recovery. Thank you so much Eva

Monster.com career expert Vicki Salemi states that the job search is “one big emotional roller coaster,” with all the ups and downs. And, let’s face it, fear. The only thing is you can’t hold up your hands as you go down that first big hill. If you’re a recovering addict who has begun your journey, you’re definitely experiencing the same thing. Taken together, the two experiences can be both frightening and elating, filled with both uncertainty and victory.

Regardless of the reason, you are starting your job search after also starting recovery. It’s your first time back in the job market, and your addiction might have caused you to lose a job. You will definitely need to bring in some money in order to keep your bills paid, a roof over your head, and your utilities on. So until you get a job offer, you’ll need a temporary side gig. The question is, though, what can you do?

The late Dick Bolles, author of What Color is Your Parachute, said “Everyone has skills,” and you can think of them as belonging to three categories: verbs (sewing, negotiating, planning, and more), nouns (data, graphics, software, animals, and others), and adjectives (adaptable, creative, flexible, and so on). The key is to identify which of your skills go into which category. This not only helps you determine a side gig, but it also can help you determine which type of full-time job to pursue.

But until you get hired, consider these two broad possibilities for making ends meet.

1. Offer Yourself in a Service Role

In a service role, you essentially perform the tasks some folks don’t have the time for or are incapable of doing. For some senior citizens or disabled people, you can become an errand runner or a shopper. There are even some people who will pay you to wait in a line for them for new technology gadgets, concert tickets, and more. You can also hire yourself out as a pet sitter or dog walker. The best part about those kinds of opportunities is that you can set your own schedule, including nights and weekends.

When you offer yourself in a service role, you become an extra pair of legs for someone who is unable to tend to some essential life tasks. Plus, one additional benefit is that you might be able to increase your job-hunting network by telling your clients that you’re looking for full-time work.

2. Make Money With a Hobby or Skill

Can you make jewelry or seasonal wreaths? Can you paint or take photographs? Can you knit or do flower arranging? If so, you can turn your hobby into something profitable by selling your items on at Etsy shop or to family and friends. The best part about this side-gig is that you actually get to make your hobby profitable. And, of course, having a hobby is beneficial when you’re in recovery. If you play a musical instrument or even sing, consider offering music lessons. And once you get a full-time position, you can keep teaching your students for as long as you like.

A job search can be one of the most stressful events in someone’s life, and it can be especially difficult for those who are newly sober. So since you are in recovery, you must keep in mind that any additional stress you feel from your job search might trigger a relapse. Having a side gig might help you avoid stress, prevent a relapse, and keep you on your path.

Photo Credit: Pixabay.com

About Eva

About 6 years ago, Eva Benoit left her job as an office manager to pursue being a life, career, and overall wellness coach. She specializes in helping professionals with stress and anxiety, but welcomes working with people from all walks of life. She works with her clients to discover and explore avenues that will bring them balance, peace, and improved overall well-being that can last a lifetime. Her website is evabenoit.com and she is author of the upcoming book, The 30-Day Plan for Ending Bad Habits and Improving Overall Health.

You can read Eva’s last guest article on Executive Addiction here

Have a great weekend everyone and know you are not alone in any struggles