Give Kids the World: Show the love while they still live


 

Those beautiful kids will never meet my grandma not only because we are continents apart, but also because she died this wednesday at mum’s at the ripe old, gracious age of 91. Mami mami as I called and nagged her from childhood, did love children and spoilt us with candies, food and stuffs she could afford. Had she been able, she would have loved to donate to such a noble cause for kids.

I am not mourning for my Mami Mami because she lived a grateful and gracious life, thankful for even the glass of water she drank ever often. I loved her of course and enjoyed washing her toilet, clothes and even body when she couldn’t do it all alone again. That picture was in 2013 shortly before Mami Mami’s health started to fail the following year. She lived for three more years therafter and stood the test a while.

Please, am not asking for any sympathy not creating any tribute fund (not that it would appeal to any you my gentle followers who may however not know me well enough to give me your money). I am however asking you to donate to a cherished blogger’s search for kind and caring people as he prepares to be a super hero at the Give Kids the World village in February 2018.

May a recent comment he left on a previous post of mine on this same issue, answer any other questions you may have/make it more appealing for you to donate whatever amount you can.

“There is no bigger heart than the one that reveals itself when we offer our services to others in need. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your heart with all your readers and helping them become aware of “GIVE KIDS THE WORLD.” This is an organization whose ONLY purpose is to give critically ill children an experience of a lifetime. Not only have you shared this mission with your readers, you have personally chosen to participate in contributing to this benevolent organization.

I have reached out to many people asking for help. A few have explained their predicament preventing their ability to contribute. I appreciate their candor and honesty. Most, however, have chosen to “look the other way” expecting the rest of the world to deal with this. It is disappointing at the very least to become aware of the reality that so few people care about each other’s welfare.

I have spent my career seeking answers and providing for people’s health needs. When people couldn’t afford my fees for service (but showed true concern about their health issues) I provided the services without fees. If the only time we’re willing to “GIVE” to others is when we can achieve personal gain, we are imposing obstacles and blinding ourselves to great opportunities in life. We must come to realize that this one on one exchange only provides one source of benefit. When we reach out and GIVE to the world, countless numbers of people will reach back.

I hope your readers find it in their heart to donate to GIVE KIDS THE WORLD. This organization provides ALL EXPENSE PAID VACATIONS for critically ill children AND THEIR FAMILIES from around the world! It is one of the most transparent charities I’ve discovered and provides over 92% of the money raised DIRECTLY to the children in need keeping administrative costs and salaries exceptionally low.

Since some people have concerns about the legitimacy of various charities, I encourage anyone to visit charity navigator (an independent organization that rates 1000’s of charities worldwide.) You will be pleased with their confidence rating and more comfortable supporting this charity.

Thank you again, dear Marie for all that you have done. If anyone wishes to join us on this wonderful mission, they can click on the following link to show their love and commitment to the children of the world.
http://support.gktw.org/goto/JCsGoingOverTheEdge
Once you reach the home page, click on the green DONATE button at the top right side of the page.

Thanking everyone in advance for consideration and support of the mission I pursue for children”.

Dr. Jonathan N. Colter

 

Thank you therefore all, may you be moved to click right here and donate to Doctor’s campaign

Have a great weekend

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Please donate a mite to a noble cause for children on the edge


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I wish I could do more, but I know my mite even in sharing my friend’s donation appeal goes a long way. Those kids on the edge with those dreaded diseases we freeze if told to imagine our kids having them, deserve their once in a life time opportunity.

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Thank you to anyone who reads this reblog and makes a donation no matter how small.

Happy mid week

We all have our Insecurities: We all have our limitations


Hello World, It may be way too soon for me to say here comes another of those weeks, I think it is still some residual burnout jumbled up with some mood cycles spiked a few weekes ago by a higher than usual hyped calendar.

Let’s start with Insecurities

Well, something this weekend, and I mean as trival as asking for a selfie, made me face the reality that I like many others had insecurities and limitations. I have never doubted this, although I didn’t call them out as such before not ‘smile’ at anyone who ‘dared’ tell me so – if you get the gist.

So, during an event, I met someone I have admired on facebook for a while, we are a decade or so apart in age with she being a junior, but share some similarities like being staunch advocates of whatever our causes are. We also say it as it is and try to live our best. We acknowledged each other that day, appreciated our outfits, neeedless to say we were maybe the only two dressed in African prints (in a culture where fashion and trendy means competing with Beyonce hmm), but I didn’t ask for a selfie, or that we get someone to take us a picture. True each time we met and exchanged a word, there was buzzing around, but then I could still try right? Ok, at the gala my battery died down before I met her again, but maybe if I asked, her phone could have done just good right? And to think the very next day I was out there on facebook bluffing about our outfits and had no picture to show? Had only mine like I was the only chick à l’africaine you know. Insecurity period!

So, if on the same day and event I can have different encounters and behaviours, then I should either be perfectly human or not lol. Seriously, the above got me thinking. I mean I don’t fear striking conversations, why fear ask for ‘mere’ snapshots? There are other times I have asked for snapshots, so it’s not like ‘jamais fait – or never before done’. Actually, that same morning before I ran into her, I was just from making a new contact, a lady who sat a row ahead and I could feel she is on her phone ‘social networking’ just because… so I introduced myself to her and got to meet a dynamic lady who has a restaurant in my own neigbhourhood called ‘Fresh Cravings’ – guess who plans to take her guys there this weekend? So when Saraphine asked that we do a selfie, sure I smiled some mindful of the chilly room.

Saraphine Yondo
Saraphine Yondoh of Fresh Cravings and I

The simple conclusion is that I have my own insecurities, and they fluctuate based on circumstances.

And Limitations

Limitations I want to look at from the point of a limiting circumstance or occurence or event etc. We probably have them everywhere, right close to us, in our homes, interractions and all. I bring it up to say those limitations do not and should not make us any less human I think or grateful our lives. A small and very current example is that, since I got to the office this morning, I am struggling to find my groove to work as planned, the internet connection is frustrating and this also limits any progress (tbt there is also much I could do without the internet connection) I should have made right? But the laptop itself has been rebooted already twice too. I can choose to give up this day as is, focus on preparing my notes for lectures tonight, (like double checking them since I prepared them long ago lol) and go bitch about the day althrough the night. Will that make me feel any better and less ‘guilty’ at having wasted half the day already not really doing much? I thus fell back on writing, and this post is here.

Whenever it goes up, I will know I haven’t done what I planned this morning but I didn’t let the morning’s limitation keep me down. I also think others will be inspired and motivated by this post. I will even conclude by throwing out a question: Has anyone any insecurities and limitations they may want to share/or better still the tips on dealing with this?

Thanks for reading and have a great week everyone

Twinkes not Wrinkles 


Twinkles not wrinkles

Those I want for the season

The reason but no treason

~~~
Twinkles not wrinkles

They come naturally

Please let them be

~~~
Twinkles not wrinkles

In my eyes not on my brow

That’s all by Grace

~~~
Twinkles not wrinkles

You want those too?

If yes, you welcome

If no, I know you nought.

Up and about this Saturday for some respite

P.s: Wishing us all the best for the season, new year ahead and life in general

Even Rest & Recuperation (R&R) ain’t easy


Wow wow wow, glad friday is here. I have a full social event tomorrow, like all day and night, and I feel fully R&R from a hectic last week.

The R&R never came easy, and you may even wonder what’s the deal which warranted such R&R in the first place.

So this is what I was up to between the 27th of November and the 2nd of December.

  1. 27-28 Nov: last minute preparation for a big Gbm event  – a mega donation from a sponsor, at the centre being constructed in my village (over 600kms from where I live – factor in roads and all)- Gave evening lectures at the university both Monday and Tuesday before travelling over night to my village;
  2.  29th Nov: Got to the village at 7.30 am, tried some mild R&R then on to reception of Sponsor, official donation ceremony and refreshments from 1 pm. Here are a few pictures:
  3. 30th Nov – 1st of Dec off to the other end of the village to meet Dad for the funeral of my late aunt – mind you these celebrations in African contexts are not taken lightly. And there was dad to take off, and to spend quality time with;
  4. 1st Dec – 2nd Dec over night: Travel back to Douala and my boys

So there in a nutshell was one hyped week for someone who suffers greatly when her routine is distrurbed.

Gladly, I had prepared myself emotionally and mentally this time as much as possible, but still the body took its toll and crashed on return. R&R was desperately needed.

But R&R  didn’t come and easy and there was a price

That saturday Dec 2nd, I tried to sleep all day but my musketeers + Ella wouldn’t let me. Not that I really knew how to – I even tried to take the boys out that afternoon  but nada, tried to lock them out – nada – so we all ended up in my bed watching the movie “Homeless to Havard”. At least I was in bed and they had fixed me lunch and lots of tea.

Next day Dec 3rd, the pain in my whole body let me know I had to go even for a brief walk before crashing in bed again. I braved a walk and gladly didn’t over do it. Felt much better and thought I could zoom it to cook for the week ahead and etc. Did a little and back to bed. In the afternoon I had to go all across town to pick up some stuff from mum and there was TRAFFIC – poor me.

Monday Dec 4th – Tuesday Dec 5 th, I tried to work half days and I had picked up the flu and etc taking me forcefully back to bed.

In a nutshell, as much as I wanted and needed R&R, it didn’t come so easiliy and then I had to pay a price for my stubborness.

So my advice to you peeps from experience is; whe you feel a burn out, just lie still and feel the pain to healing using whatever works for you. I for example put myself on fruits, vegetables and hot (anything) therapy + an inspirational movie and music to sooth the nerves too you know

Have a nice weekend everyone; as for me I’ll be at the Returnee event for the entire day and night with my IT shoes and all hahaha- so another R&R we go for again thereafter…

Inextinguishable Candle


Inextinguishable candle
Image Source

It was two decades ago

I had never cried that much

A passing on far away from home

Yet felt to my marrow

~~~

I rushed home to watch

The requiem with the soulful song

Candle in the wind he sang

Then all said Goodbye

~~~

And yours had before that

Marched behind your casket

That single word pierced our hearts

I wondered if that was it

~~~

They had seemingly raced you out

But no you are inextinguishable

Even the fiercest wind

Can’t blow you out

~~~

Look at you now

None can deny

Your everlasting presence

In both their engagements

~~~

The first’s wife has your ring

Their daughter your name

The second’s would have been

Your partner in all things

She even is same age

Is that Coincidence?

~~~

That same media

Race to unearth her race

All things dysfunctional

About her family and herself

Like he doesn’t know

~~~

His choice has been made

Your diamonds are also on her finger

Let them gossip and dig all they May

It has been settled for May

~~~

It could never be more natural

for fragile one you arranged

Right from College his match

For beloved redhead – one as free spirited

Just when it was time

~~~

For me it is not even goodbye

A Rose may wither – its fragrance lingers on forever

You merely passed the batton

Color and age matter for nought

~~~

Yes, You’ve shown me and hopefully us all

That True Love conquers all

Death need not be feared

Nor viewed as the end

~~~

Inextinguishable candle

You need no title nor tiara

Thank you Lady for your legacy

The peoples’ princess forever

~~~

(C) Marie Abanga Dec 2017

p.s: what a sweet inspiration I had this tuesday to write this to my ultimate inspiration and heroine. I still recall how I cried for someone I never knew personally, I don’t think I’ve ever cried even any close,  for anyone I don’t know personally.

I broke the taboo


When I got there

I was scared to go near

I knew it was out of bounds

Heard it belonged to a shaggy fellow

~~~

He knew none will dare

offer to clear

all the clutter with any duster

it was an implied taboo to go any near

~~~

The reasons were never so clear

the arguements made no sense

 nor did I care for either  

was done with all the quagmires

~~~

I dared to ask and sure It was NO

I recalled Silent but Stuborn love

I dared to go there and did my best

the end result we both loved

~~~

a bond like none other had been born

Stigma can actually be from the source

It takes a lot to clear that out

But with love, it can be done

~~~

OH YES -ALLELUIA

I broke the Taboo

~~~

p.s: Believe me when I write pictures are too graphic of the before to share – needless to share the picture of the after. I am most grateful for the grace to go through and clean up the clutter with passion, love and affection. I was proud of my work and stayed in that space a while with love. The appreciation was tremendous. Sometimes breaking through deserves silent love and nothing more.

 

 

What I love most about teaching is: Empowering my students and learning from them


Soon I’ll have taught close to 400 masters students in my Country in barely 2 years and this is Amazing to me. The students always have so much in them and once I breakthrough, we stay buddies all through the course and after. I pride myself in knowning each person by their name. Am ever so grateful.

 

Newman doing his thing during class presentations
Hassana our HR Assistant
Lydie our Lady

I will not choose


Let it be clear once and for all

I will not choose between you

I owe my existence to you both

~~~

I am a by product of all I learned

Directly or indirectly you both taught

Directly or indirectly I got it straight

Why now do you think I should choose?

~~~

I am sorry for your grievances

Maybe you’re not able to let go

All the scripts and expectations

I have come to shred and have none

~~~

I prescribe myself just one thing

To love each of you just as you are

To love whichever ways works per situation

I also appreciate silent love

When unspoken words and actions say and prove it all

~~~

Thank you both for loving me silently, just as I am

I have mastered the lessons, and give some to others

But now I must confess: consider it a final word

I will not choose

……….

P.s: For closure after an awesome 3 good days with my dad. Be inspired other Children of Divorce in the house. I was never implicitly asked to choose, but grew up with that feeling. So, if you must choose, as it could come to be, follow your conscience and be not swayed by emotions and hearsay. I hope my boys who had bravely not chosen even where I was so far away, will not someday have to choose between their dad and I. I do all I can to leave communication lines open while taming my ego.

Lessons of Effective Discipline shared with me by my son – Alain


positive discipline

A month ago, I realized I was losing it with the boys when I will get home and meet the house in a mess. I started giving timeout, not to them but to myself – I will rush into my room and lock the door and ask them to knock when they finish tidying up. I didn’t want to stay with them and spend the little energy I had screaming. But it was taking longer each time and I started praying for a better way – Alain was equally getting concerned and so the last time I gave myself a timeout, he came to my room when his siblings had gone to sleep for a chat (we sometimes have them in our capacity as GM and Deputy of Our Home Inc) – He brought his reader and shared with me what they had been learning in school on effective discipline. I share same in its entirety – of course it is left for each to appreciate as they deem.

Discipline is a strong virtue that a parent can leave as an indelible legacy to a child. The Biblical King David in one of his epistles in the Old Testament dubbed Proverbs says train up a child in such a way that when he grows, he would not depart from it. Effective discipline is a dire need for smooth going on of things. Many actors come into play for ‘child discipline’ namely the parents ,teachers,elders,older siblings, kith and most importantly God Almighty for who else can discipline a creation better that the Creator? This rhetorical question is considerate to the fact that nowadays children are taught in school and when parents seem to be losing it with the children, it deepens their attention for effective discipline. Often times, due to the openness between parent and child, they both exchange pleasantries in a disguise dialoguing form aimed towards attaining effective discipline as their conversation is content-filled with the divergent views of the different stages of better discipline.

Effective discipline can take four formats namely Instruction, Training, Correction and Closure.

When we talk of instruction, it is an embodiment of teaching and commanding a child which can take two forms that is formal and informal for outlining clear rules and regulations for the child to follow and using every situation to teach by modeling respectively: What this means is teaching by the power of your example and not the example of your power. This sets the bases for an obedient child to grow effectively disciplined.

Training a child for effective discipline is the second level which aims at obedience and maturity. Training needs affection in most cases so as to build proficiency and develop the child’s skills and be able to know the reason for disobedience since learning is complexed at times. Is disobedience as a result of willful defiance or childish immaturity? When the answer to this question is established, it gives way for the third level of effective discipline which is Correction.

Correction which is multi-facetted is the taking of an appropriate action to enable the child follow the instruction and training. The facets of correction will include direct assertive communication, time-out, natural or logical consequences and rewards. Whatever strategy chosen for correction which maybe punitive or to restitute, it is aimed at getting the desired rightful results of effective discipline which is obedience since this is seemingly a painful factor often times than not as the modes will differ if disobedience of instruction and training is as a result of willful defiance or childish immaturity.

Finally, here we are at the last stage of effective discipline which is Closure. Closure which has varied ways like hugging, holding or lovingly talking to the child when correction ends is a form of communicating with the child for him to know you hold no grudges against him/her but out of love you needed to effectively discipline the child by correction.

Since the bottom line is to earn effective discipline of the child and right up to the stage of self-reliance of the child when he grows older, the guiding factor of discipline therefore is love which is mammoth and thereby embedded on the parent more than a duty which he or she is often overjoyed to see the child grow up effectively self-disciplined and living up in stark radiance to the discipline with little or no co-ordination and correction.

I am so grateful for what I learned and the efforts am making and I hope sharing same helps any parents and especially singlemothers in the blogsphere.

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